(no subject)

I am feeling a bit hacked off at the moment.

Various people I knew in high school keep on trying to friend me on facebook. Whilst in terms of uni I am completely open-minded about who I add and so on and so forth, I am a bit picky about people from school. People that I didn't really know I don't bother adding, and people who used to pick on me I don't add out of principle. Anyway, a girl I knew a bit and quite liked in a sort of vague way added me and I added her back and that should have been the end of it.

In my list of 'Things I Really Really Hate In This World' is invites to the applications. Inviting me to events that I have no hope of making, or groups I hate, is something I can deal with, and the odd application invite to something I will probably like (zombies, etc) is okay. However, this girl actually bombarded me with stuff. It was something like seven applications a day.

I have, before now, asked people to stop sending me the applications which I feel a bit awful doing. However, since I haven't spoken to this girl for, er, five years? I wrote on her Wall:

"Hi, great to hear from you again! Sorry to be a pain, but could you stop spamming me with applications?"

Okay, not the politest message but hey, there we are. Anyway, I got a message back:

"hi, great to hear from you again but could you please stop sending me snotty messages?"

And she removed me from her friends!

So now I am torn between two responses (neither of which I will send as I have been completely blocked, which I feel is a bit of an over-exaggeration): "FUCK OFF THEN" which is how I sort of feel, or a grovelling apology.

Cos I panic about two things, really. One is just a primal, almost teenage response; I constantly feel harrassed by people who I percieve as socially more adequate than me and since I feel my message was a bit terse but not snotty and quite frankly this is just an ongoing problem with a lot of people; people are, as per usual, just taking everything I do and making it seem awful just to have another reason to have a go at me.

My other response, however, it completely the other side of things, because oh god, maybe I am a bit snotty all the time? I know I can be, but it's something I try and curb. Er. This is a bit awful but quite a few times I come across as sounding superior, and I don't always mean to. (Sometimes I do, I admit. I will use 'posh' language for the use of intimidation.)

So, er, yeah. Now I am all irrationally panicked and stuff. And fuck knows why, because hey, these people are all still living in sodding Ormskirk and socialising in exclusively the same social groups they have been since they were five whereas I am not that anymore. I've moved on; I do different things, see different things, am making solid foundations for a decent life and should stop worrying what these people think. And there I go on the superiority thing again.

Mostly, though, I'm hacked off. I don't know. Advice? Thoughts? Want to call me a snotty cow too?

(Oh, and don't even start on exams. There is a real source of panic.)