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Mar. 7th, 2008 05:01 pmFRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY. Another week survived. Phew. Today has been another bloody strange day; I'm still fighting off this little infection and I'm sort of just slightly muzzy in the head.
I went to see my tutor for the Edward I course today to ask about what sort of reading I should be doing; I'm doing the same essay as I'm doing for the presentation, which I basically bollocked up and would, understandably, like to not to do so for my presentation. So I asked, jokingly, pretty much that question in slighter politer language. He explained it for me, and then asked why I was so self-deprecating. I flailed slightly, and tried to explain - people were so damned nasty to me on such a regular basis that I find it easier to insult myself first. I don't have low self-esteem or anything, but I do know when I do something badly.
He sounded mildly concerned. This makes the second tutor convinced I have been having some sort of nervous breakdown, fortunately in two seperate years. I wouldn't mind, but to be honest I'm about as normal as a box of frogs - slightly unusual, but you'd smile to see it. Does that make sense? Honestly, I don't have crushing problems with my self-confidence or anything, but I'd just rather point out my own weaknesses before others do. Huh. Weird.
Oh well, I might get higher marks for it if he thinks I'm about to self-implode or something. But I'm worrying about it now; am I self-deprecating? Is it a bad habit? Am I spelling that word correctly? ARGH. Thoughts would be appreciated, to be honest.
Today is the last day of the Week of Positivity, and I have a lot to be positive about. HURRAH.
1. Today is my traditional Day Of Getting Hammered, but since I feel like crap and am actually fascinating about being in my pajamas and being curled up on the sofa I am not going to do that, unless I get a really attractive offer from someone. Anyway, as that means I'm saving up on however much I'm not drinking, it means I can spend the money elsewhere. I've got a cheap bottle of red (I didn't say I wasn't drinking, I just said I wasn't going out to do it) and I'm going to get a Chinese. NOM NOM NOM. This is a very good way of looking at feeling too crappy to go out.
2. I've done all my Henry VIII research. SERIOUSLY DUDES THERE IS NOTHING LEFT IN THE LIBRARY. This is a Very Good Thing and means I am Ahead on my essays. HUZZAH!
3. So instead of doing the reading I was meant to do, I've sat down and sorted out all the ever-growing pile of administrative stuff I have to do. I've sorted out the lease for next year, I've sent off e-mails for DocSoc related stuff, I've sent my CV to people as part of an increasingly desperate "PLEASE GIVE ME WORK THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE CLEANING OTHER PEOPLE'S BODILY FUNCTIONS AND PREFERABLY PAYS MONEY", I've filled in my student loan form - no tuition fees next year, huzzah! - and cleared all the excess crap off my desk. This is a job that should have been done a long time ago, and it's a big weight off my shoulders.
Oh, and by the way - you should all watch The Big Bang Theory on Channel 4. It's been a long time since I laughed so heartily about a sitcom, and hell, I don't even get the physics jokes.
I went to see my tutor for the Edward I course today to ask about what sort of reading I should be doing; I'm doing the same essay as I'm doing for the presentation, which I basically bollocked up and would, understandably, like to not to do so for my presentation. So I asked, jokingly, pretty much that question in slighter politer language. He explained it for me, and then asked why I was so self-deprecating. I flailed slightly, and tried to explain - people were so damned nasty to me on such a regular basis that I find it easier to insult myself first. I don't have low self-esteem or anything, but I do know when I do something badly.
He sounded mildly concerned. This makes the second tutor convinced I have been having some sort of nervous breakdown, fortunately in two seperate years. I wouldn't mind, but to be honest I'm about as normal as a box of frogs - slightly unusual, but you'd smile to see it. Does that make sense? Honestly, I don't have crushing problems with my self-confidence or anything, but I'd just rather point out my own weaknesses before others do. Huh. Weird.
Oh well, I might get higher marks for it if he thinks I'm about to self-implode or something. But I'm worrying about it now; am I self-deprecating? Is it a bad habit? Am I spelling that word correctly? ARGH. Thoughts would be appreciated, to be honest.
Today is the last day of the Week of Positivity, and I have a lot to be positive about. HURRAH.
1. Today is my traditional Day Of Getting Hammered, but since I feel like crap and am actually fascinating about being in my pajamas and being curled up on the sofa I am not going to do that, unless I get a really attractive offer from someone. Anyway, as that means I'm saving up on however much I'm not drinking, it means I can spend the money elsewhere. I've got a cheap bottle of red (I didn't say I wasn't drinking, I just said I wasn't going out to do it) and I'm going to get a Chinese. NOM NOM NOM. This is a very good way of looking at feeling too crappy to go out.
2. I've done all my Henry VIII research. SERIOUSLY DUDES THERE IS NOTHING LEFT IN THE LIBRARY. This is a Very Good Thing and means I am Ahead on my essays. HUZZAH!
3. So instead of doing the reading I was meant to do, I've sat down and sorted out all the ever-growing pile of administrative stuff I have to do. I've sorted out the lease for next year, I've sent off e-mails for DocSoc related stuff, I've sent my CV to people as part of an increasingly desperate "PLEASE GIVE ME WORK THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE CLEANING OTHER PEOPLE'S BODILY FUNCTIONS AND PREFERABLY PAYS MONEY", I've filled in my student loan form - no tuition fees next year, huzzah! - and cleared all the excess crap off my desk. This is a job that should have been done a long time ago, and it's a big weight off my shoulders.
Oh, and by the way - you should all watch The Big Bang Theory on Channel 4. It's been a long time since I laughed so heartily about a sitcom, and hell, I don't even get the physics jokes.
