Collectormania 5
May. 3rd, 2004 03:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolI write this post in fearful anticipation. El Sister seems to have fucked up the computer in my absence, but my tenuously not clicking on MSN for fear of my life internet, I can keep whatever she seems to have done at bay.
Honestly, what part of "NO! Don't download stuff! It's not worth the risk unless you implicitly know the user and have recommendations!" doesn't she get?
(Slightly later edt:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
colonel_sho had informed me that it is the Sasser thingie. Um. Whoops. Consider it sorted. Virus makers are tossers.)
But yes. We shall stop the raging and we shall get to the important stuff. That is, a bloody-long-time-to-type-and-Iona-has-my-notes update. Because I'm not, by nature, a sadistic person, I'll cut-tag when I get long, rambly and fannish.
Which will be pretty much the whole post. As such, click on the links if you'd like to know about the best weekend I've had all year to date.
Day One - Or, How I Stopped Worrying And Learnt To Love The British Rail System.
It began on the Friday. My bag was packed, my belongings were ready, and my goodness, were they heavy. I'm terribly unhealthy, you know. The walk to the train station nearly killed me, although in my defence it was uphill. I got on the train and huddled in the corner, as I normally do on this kind of train trip anyway. Made it to Liverpool and wandered over to Lime Street.
"Clare (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
osiris13)! Iona (loneraven)! Squee!"
We then proceeded to do our First Stupid Studenty Act of the weekend, and also our first Costa trip, by sharing a muffin between three people. Well, it was a nice muffin.
Got on the train, and we sat and talked about nothing whilst on the way to Manchester. Through some miracle, we got off at Manchester correctly and made it onto the next train. We panicked at this point.
"Okay, we're on coach F..."
"There is no coach F."
"What?"
There was no coach F. We went and found the guard, who told us to sit in first class. Wahey! We did panic somewhat that perhaps we weren't meant to be there, but we didn't get thrown off, which is all good.
So, we had a comfy trip down. Clare and Iona mocked me with my less-than-wonderful maths knowledge (I can't believe I forgot that 2x2 makes 4...) and I taught them about the New Model Army. We then settled down, with me alternating between doing my homework (hurrah for Language And Social Conexts!), giving purely philistine views on poetry to Iona (who used them in her essay. This amused me) and reading A Hat Full Of Sky. My, is that a wonderful book or what? Got to love the Nac Mac Feegle.
In fact, Discworld was a big part of the trip. We're allhysterical fans, and it was great fun discussing small blue people whose favourite things are drinkin, fightin, and snafflin coobeasties. I was particularly amused by the following exchange:
"He's refusing a drink! He's deid!"
"Can I nae have a moment of existential uncertainty? I dinnae wan' a drink!"
"Quick! He's talkin and he's deid!"
We did, however, make it to Milton Keynes. Cue very slight shock that we seemed to have actually made it, and not be in Aberwystwyth. This didn't stop me from phoning my mother, feeling slightly malicious:
"Hi, Mum? We're in Luton. Is this a problem?"
We even made it to the hotel, and checked in with surprisingly little difficulty, despite having Clare loitering at a distance. Problems began when we got into the room. Despite having about 28 or more GCSES between us, we couldn't work out how to turn on the lights. We got it, in the end, but it was very embarressing. As Mum says "You're very clever, but you're very stupid too."
Feeling hungry, and horrified that Iona had never eaten a Pot Noodle, we decided to make aforementioned 'meal'. We promptly dropped one. We attempted to clean it up, and failed. Then I managed to spill part of a made Pot Noodle on the floor, in the exact same spot.
We wrote an apologetic note for the maid and left the matter there.
We also had the problem of sleeping. Needless to say, there were two beds and three of us. We pushed them together, put Iona in the middle, and shared, and remarkably comfortably too. I'm sure we could have fitted Emily in there too!
Day Two, Or How I Have Appeared To Have Purchased Miranda Otto.
Woke up, showered, and spent thirty minutes being aggressively cheerful at Iona so she'd wake up, or possibly throw a brick at me. (Iona believes I am a morning person. This is not true. I am a person who likes sleep, and the time just doesn't come into play. However, when I need to get up and need to wake other people up, they get attacked with aggressive cheerfulness. Be glad that I didn't start singing at you.) Luckily, she opted for the former, and we managed to go downstairs, steal breakfast, and wander out to the convention.
We were there quite freakishly early, with more than a little tinge of Dawn Of The Dead. People were wandering around aimlessly, and some odd bloke marched up to Clare and said "I haven't seen trousers like that since I was a teenager!" Remember this man for later, because he's important.
I think the day was started off well when we saw the World's Wankiest Sign. And I quote:
SOME GUESTS MAY REFUSE TO SIGN CERTAIN ITEMS. KRISTY SWANSON WILL SIGN THE FRONT COVER OF PLAYBOY, HOWEVER, SHE WILL NOT SIGN THE INSIDE COVER.
We eventually decided to start queueing for Corin Nemec, and got our virtual queue tickets. The same was true for Ray Park and Jake Lloyd.
However, this meant we had a little while to wait, and we all started to wander around the market place, which we never did quite get the hang of. It was big, and confusing. We had our first encounter with Claire-with-an-I, who was a lovely American woman who ran one of the stalls. I bought a t-shirt declaring the word 'GEEK' with a silhouette of the Enterprise across it. This amused me highly, and became my first purchase. Because Iona ummed and aahed over whether to buy it, she gave us the two shirt offer anyway. Needless to say, this woman quickly became our friend. Clare also purchased an absolutely gorgeous 1969 print, which I am thoroughly jealous of.
We then met Corin Nemec. Stupidly, I had forgot the poster I wanted signing, and as such got a signed photo instead. Wheee! He's lovely, but he's so THIN! Cheekbones and hair and just general oh-my-god-it's-Jonas attack. So bizarrely brilliant.
We then proceeded (well, Clare proceeded in true Vimes fashion) to Ray Park, who was so fabulous. I'm such an X-Men geek, I truly am. He shook my had and let us have photos and was so fabulous. Dude! I have MET Toadmeister! And now I have the T-O-A-D thing for Evo in my head and wheee!
Then it was Jake Lloyd. I don't understand Andrew's obsession with the boy, but as requested, I got a photo of him being grown-up. He really is a scally. I also got a signed photo for Andrew's birthday. He reads this journal, but I'm depending on his low attention span so that he won't read this far. If he has - Happy Birthday my love!
We then got a virutal queue for Brian Blessed, and waited. And waited. And waited. As we were bored, we wandered off and decided to go shopping again. Iona - finally! - brought The Sandman, which I am borrowing as soon as I can get hold of it and indeed her. And then I brought something a little... odd.
You may be wondering about the title of this day. Well, we went back to the Claire-the-dealer and looked at the lifesize cutout of Miranda Otto. Through something approaching insanity, I bought it. Even better, the lovely woman told me to go to the next stall as it was cheaper.
The fact is, I now have a life-size cut out of Miranda Otto. In shieldmaiden stuff, too. Everyone is bemused, and I must admit, so am I. It started off being referred to as the popup, and is now called Mirada and given a feminine pronoun. I gave it to the stall to look after, though.
We were still waiting for Brain Blessed by this point. So, we met Pervy Mora. This is how I know her. This is how I described her to Clare and Iona, who looked slightly scared.Pervy Mora is, in fact, really amazingly cool and seems to know everyone. We met, we chatted, and then we wandered off. Brian Blessed was still about 100 numbers behind my ticket and as such we went around the dealer bit again. We were staring at a picture, and an American man squeezed my shoulder and said 'Excuse me'.
I turned around, and promptly starting whacking Clare and Iona. "Look! Look! It's Corin Nemec! It's Corin Nemec!" He ws in the process of being attacked by the same scary bloke who had talked to Clare about her trousers. Once he came away, we apologised for him. "I swear, not all sci-fi fans are like that."
He smiled and assured us that we're really rather nice. We offered him cookies, which he refused, and then threatened us with a fake zat gun. This sounds utterly, incredibly sad in retrospect, but it was quite possibly the best thing in the universe. We walked off calmly, declaring that we'd stop stalking him now, and then turned a corner.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY SWEET FUCKING MARY MOTHER OF JESUS!" I do turn Catholic at times. We phoned Emily, and I think her description is the most accurate -
Just had a hysterical call from Colleen (hathy_col) who's in Milton Keynes. She was speaking so fast I could hardly hear what she was saying (phone reception is not too good in my room) but there was something about Corin Nemec and cookies and zat guns?
Wheeee!
Iona's ankle was playing up by this point. We had attempted, earlier, to get her a wheelchair, but this rather failed. So she was leaning on me quite heavily by this point, but we struggled on to Brian Blessed.
I can't describe my fascination with the man. He's so incredibly and unutterly cool. So, me and my excited self plus a hobbling Iona make our way down the queue. We are promptly attacked by John Billingsley.
"Are you drunk?"
"No! I've torn my ligaments!"
Brian Blessed signed my Vultan picture (I gibbered my thanks... this man is my hero!) and then offered to break Iona's leg to make it more equal. Clare and I agreed. Iona, strangely, did not. John Billingsley continued to heckle us, and eventually offered to sign Iona's non-existant cast. He signed her jeans instead. We worked out that we had Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Neelix, The Doctor, Dr Phloxx, Boss Nass and Chewbacca all staring at us by this point.
More hysterical phone calls ensued, as you might have guessed.
We then spent the rest of the day ouside Costa with Mora and her friends, one of whom was a goth!Elf by the name of Raven. This made life rather confusing, let me tell you. We also met up with Sidg and Liz at many points, and told them our hysterical story. Eventually, I went to pick up Miranda, Clare picked up Iona and we got a taxi back to the hotel.
We went back in to the hotel, dropped off Miranda, were relieved to find that our scam had not been discovered. We went for a meal, and then we read - a lot - and went to bed. We were knackered, for a start.
Well, we tried to go to bed. I had dropped off, and suddenly heard Iona poking at her phone.
"What the fuck are you doing?" (Please appropriate a suitably gravelly middle-of-the-night voice here.)
"I've set the alarm for the wrong time..."
"What time is it?"
"The alarm is wrong!"
She doesn't remember this. I do. Since, however, Lucy texted at a similiar time the night before, I can hardly critisize.
Day Three, Or How Haldir Became A Part Time Phone Technician.
Managed to kick Iona out of bed again the next morning (literally) and we checked out, leaving our belongings behind the foyer. Miranda was stared at in bemusement. I can't really blame the staff.
The taxi was a very posh Mercedes, and then off we went to the MKCentre for the last time...
Well, it was early. Very early. Clare and I were terribly keen on meeting LOTR guests, and Iona was along for the ride. We stood outside in the cold, and someone came along and grabbed hold of my neck in a mad hug. It could only be Liz, and it was. We stood outside and they tried to make me dance. I didn't, although I came close with the YMCA and I did end up singing the Arnold Rimmer song at them. We're all fans of daft British comedy, I think; Discworld and Red Dwarf. At any rate, they've never heard the song and this resulted in me doing the full song, complete with routines and also an attempt at harmonising.
*coughs ashamedly*
It did end up being a lot like Dawn Of The Dead, though, with us all clamouring to be let in. And so, they did! Hurrah! Got tickets for Craig Parker and attempted to get Iona a wheelchair. Alas, the shop was closed, so we went off again to Costa, invested in coffee and Frescato (coffee is FOUL) and waited for Craig Parker. He was very, very late and I really, really needed to pee. This was horribly combined with, as we finally met him in all his Elfy gloriousness, Iona dropped her phone and I was harassed as I had lost my little green thingy. Craig Parker fixed Iona's phone (I've already requested if I can have it, please) and I found my tickets and he touched me.
Sometimes, I think I should try this hetrosexuality lark. It looks fun, occasionally.
Clare and I wandered around in a happy daze for a little time, before we went to meet Lawrence Makoare and Sala Baker. Well, I did, and Clare accompanied me for Sala. Ironically, it was Iona who got the most attention, wheelchair and all - Sala started a conversation with her and she just smiled and nodded with this expression of "And you are...?" You need to watch this film, damn you!
Met Pervy Panneth, albeit late, which was ever so much fun. I also brought Clare an early birthday present. 7 months early, to be precise. Since that present was Brad Dourif and his autograph, let us not complain! He was lovely - I heard stuff saying that he was a bit of an arsehole, but he seemed to have recovered and was now very personable. I didn't have the heart to do my plan, which was to stick a postit note to his head saying the following:
"The country is Rohan.
The people are the Rohirrim.
The warriors are sometimes called the Eorlingas.
The language is Rohirric.
LEARN IT!"
Luckily, I didn't do that. He was a scary, scary dude and I feel he may not have appreciated it.
(Oh! Zombienation is on the radio! Hurrah for Shaun Of The Dead!!)
We also went to see John Billingsley again. We explained to the crew our situation, and they waved us through to get not one but two photographs. Brian Blessed told us to "Get the hell out of here!"
Yes, he is indeed my hero. One day, I'm going to make Clare and Iona watch Flash Gorden. When I get paid, I am actually planning on buying it.
And that seemed to be pretty much of the end of it. We went to see Claire-The-Dealer again to say goodbye and Iona finally brought a matching version of my t-shirt. We got a photo of the Ferengi First Rule Of Aquisition: "Once you have their money, never give it back." This is nearly as good as Zakzak's sign in A Hat Full Of Sky: "Nice to look at, lovely to hold, if you drop it you'll be pulled apart by wild horses."
We went and hung around in Costa yet again, saying hi to Sarah on the way, and then we went on a wander through the Centre. It's ever so big. I was picturing the Concourse, and the place is actually bigger than Ormskirk's town centre. Okay, that doesn't say a lot, but it was huge! I got to push Iona, which was an experience. Have you ever noticed that people will never look at someone in a wheelchair and nor will they apologise to them? It's strange. Mind you, anyone who remembered Iona from the day before said hi in a "Yay! You're fixed!" type of way.
And then we came home, with the oddness of our belongings thoroughly mocked.
"I still can't believe you brought a cardboard cut-out of Miranda Otto."
"You know Remus Lupin's middle name!"
"So do you!"
Even managed to grab an earlier train, which was nice and direct, and meant I didn't have to walk through Birmingham International with Miranda. The train ride was peaceful, all of us reading Discworld based around roughly the same place - Iona was in Lancre, I was in Uberwald and Clare was alternating between the two as she was reading Carpe Jugulum. When we eventually got back to Liverpool, Iona's parents laughed at me, and I became very aware of myself as I walked through Liverpool, dressed as I was with Miranda and a heavy bag on my back. I was alone and it was quite creepy, for lack of a better term. Some people did start hassling me in the train station by pulling my bag and me backwards, but I ignored them until I got my ticket, when my natural snarky side took over.
"I bid you goodnight, noble sirs and lady of the golden ale."
They looked confused and drunk. Which they were. I'm going to get myself killed one of the days, though.
Waited around forever for the train, got on it, went back to the misery of Ormskirk. I truly enjoyed my time away - 'freeeeeeedom!' as the historically inaccurate Mel Gibson would say. Now I am home, there are two dogs running around, I need to reaarange my bedroom to accomodate Miranda (she's in the spare room at the moment and has yet to be assembled), I have exams far too soon, but I'm still in a happy glow of fandom and of being able to sleep until 12pm.
Fandom. If you don't have one, you need one.
If you would like a better write up, try Iona's write up.
~Hathy_Col~
Honestly, what part of "NO! Don't download stuff! It's not worth the risk unless you implicitly know the user and have recommendations!" doesn't she get?
(Slightly later edt:
colonel_sho had informed me that it is the Sasser thingie. Um. Whoops. Consider it sorted. Virus makers are tossers.)But yes. We shall stop the raging and we shall get to the important stuff. That is, a bloody-long-time-to-type-and-Iona-has-my-notes update. Because I'm not, by nature, a sadistic person, I'll cut-tag when I get long, rambly and fannish.
Which will be pretty much the whole post. As such, click on the links if you'd like to know about the best weekend I've had all year to date.
Day One - Or, How I Stopped Worrying And Learnt To Love The British Rail System.
It began on the Friday. My bag was packed, my belongings were ready, and my goodness, were they heavy. I'm terribly unhealthy, you know. The walk to the train station nearly killed me, although in my defence it was uphill. I got on the train and huddled in the corner, as I normally do on this kind of train trip anyway. Made it to Liverpool and wandered over to Lime Street.
"Clare (
osiris13)! Iona (loneraven)! Squee!"We then proceeded to do our First Stupid Studenty Act of the weekend, and also our first Costa trip, by sharing a muffin between three people. Well, it was a nice muffin.
Got on the train, and we sat and talked about nothing whilst on the way to Manchester. Through some miracle, we got off at Manchester correctly and made it onto the next train. We panicked at this point.
"Okay, we're on coach F..."
"There is no coach F."
"What?"
There was no coach F. We went and found the guard, who told us to sit in first class. Wahey! We did panic somewhat that perhaps we weren't meant to be there, but we didn't get thrown off, which is all good.
So, we had a comfy trip down. Clare and Iona mocked me with my less-than-wonderful maths knowledge (I can't believe I forgot that 2x2 makes 4...) and I taught them about the New Model Army. We then settled down, with me alternating between doing my homework (hurrah for Language And Social Conexts!), giving purely philistine views on poetry to Iona (who used them in her essay. This amused me) and reading A Hat Full Of Sky. My, is that a wonderful book or what? Got to love the Nac Mac Feegle.
In fact, Discworld was a big part of the trip. We're all
"He's refusing a drink! He's deid!"
"Can I nae have a moment of existential uncertainty? I dinnae wan' a drink!"
"Quick! He's talkin and he's deid!"
We did, however, make it to Milton Keynes. Cue very slight shock that we seemed to have actually made it, and not be in Aberwystwyth. This didn't stop me from phoning my mother, feeling slightly malicious:
"Hi, Mum? We're in Luton. Is this a problem?"
We even made it to the hotel, and checked in with surprisingly little difficulty, despite having Clare loitering at a distance. Problems began when we got into the room. Despite having about 28 or more GCSES between us, we couldn't work out how to turn on the lights. We got it, in the end, but it was very embarressing. As Mum says "You're very clever, but you're very stupid too."
Feeling hungry, and horrified that Iona had never eaten a Pot Noodle, we decided to make aforementioned 'meal'. We promptly dropped one. We attempted to clean it up, and failed. Then I managed to spill part of a made Pot Noodle on the floor, in the exact same spot.
We wrote an apologetic note for the maid and left the matter there.
We also had the problem of sleeping. Needless to say, there were two beds and three of us. We pushed them together, put Iona in the middle, and shared, and remarkably comfortably too. I'm sure we could have fitted Emily in there too!
Day Two, Or How I Have Appeared To Have Purchased Miranda Otto.
Woke up, showered, and spent thirty minutes being aggressively cheerful at Iona so she'd wake up, or possibly throw a brick at me. (Iona believes I am a morning person. This is not true. I am a person who likes sleep, and the time just doesn't come into play. However, when I need to get up and need to wake other people up, they get attacked with aggressive cheerfulness. Be glad that I didn't start singing at you.) Luckily, she opted for the former, and we managed to go downstairs, steal breakfast, and wander out to the convention.
We were there quite freakishly early, with more than a little tinge of Dawn Of The Dead. People were wandering around aimlessly, and some odd bloke marched up to Clare and said "I haven't seen trousers like that since I was a teenager!" Remember this man for later, because he's important.
I think the day was started off well when we saw the World's Wankiest Sign. And I quote:
SOME GUESTS MAY REFUSE TO SIGN CERTAIN ITEMS. KRISTY SWANSON WILL SIGN THE FRONT COVER OF PLAYBOY, HOWEVER, SHE WILL NOT SIGN THE INSIDE COVER.
We eventually decided to start queueing for Corin Nemec, and got our virtual queue tickets. The same was true for Ray Park and Jake Lloyd.
However, this meant we had a little while to wait, and we all started to wander around the market place, which we never did quite get the hang of. It was big, and confusing. We had our first encounter with Claire-with-an-I, who was a lovely American woman who ran one of the stalls. I bought a t-shirt declaring the word 'GEEK' with a silhouette of the Enterprise across it. This amused me highly, and became my first purchase. Because Iona ummed and aahed over whether to buy it, she gave us the two shirt offer anyway. Needless to say, this woman quickly became our friend. Clare also purchased an absolutely gorgeous 1969 print, which I am thoroughly jealous of.
We then met Corin Nemec. Stupidly, I had forgot the poster I wanted signing, and as such got a signed photo instead. Wheee! He's lovely, but he's so THIN! Cheekbones and hair and just general oh-my-god-it's-Jonas attack. So bizarrely brilliant.
We then proceeded (well, Clare proceeded in true Vimes fashion) to Ray Park, who was so fabulous. I'm such an X-Men geek, I truly am. He shook my had and let us have photos and was so fabulous. Dude! I have MET Toadmeister! And now I have the T-O-A-D thing for Evo in my head and wheee!
Then it was Jake Lloyd. I don't understand Andrew's obsession with the boy, but as requested, I got a photo of him being grown-up. He really is a scally. I also got a signed photo for Andrew's birthday. He reads this journal, but I'm depending on his low attention span so that he won't read this far. If he has - Happy Birthday my love!
We then got a virutal queue for Brian Blessed, and waited. And waited. And waited. As we were bored, we wandered off and decided to go shopping again. Iona - finally! - brought The Sandman, which I am borrowing as soon as I can get hold of it and indeed her. And then I brought something a little... odd.
You may be wondering about the title of this day. Well, we went back to the Claire-the-dealer and looked at the lifesize cutout of Miranda Otto. Through something approaching insanity, I bought it. Even better, the lovely woman told me to go to the next stall as it was cheaper.
The fact is, I now have a life-size cut out of Miranda Otto. In shieldmaiden stuff, too. Everyone is bemused, and I must admit, so am I. It started off being referred to as the popup, and is now called Mirada and given a feminine pronoun. I gave it to the stall to look after, though.
We were still waiting for Brain Blessed by this point. So, we met Pervy Mora. This is how I know her. This is how I described her to Clare and Iona, who looked slightly scared.
I turned around, and promptly starting whacking Clare and Iona. "Look! Look! It's Corin Nemec! It's Corin Nemec!" He ws in the process of being attacked by the same scary bloke who had talked to Clare about her trousers. Once he came away, we apologised for him. "I swear, not all sci-fi fans are like that."
He smiled and assured us that we're really rather nice. We offered him cookies, which he refused, and then threatened us with a fake zat gun. This sounds utterly, incredibly sad in retrospect, but it was quite possibly the best thing in the universe. We walked off calmly, declaring that we'd stop stalking him now, and then turned a corner.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY SWEET FUCKING MARY MOTHER OF JESUS!" I do turn Catholic at times. We phoned Emily, and I think her description is the most accurate -
Just had a hysterical call from Colleen (hathy_col) who's in Milton Keynes. She was speaking so fast I could hardly hear what she was saying (phone reception is not too good in my room) but there was something about Corin Nemec and cookies and zat guns?
Wheeee!
Iona's ankle was playing up by this point. We had attempted, earlier, to get her a wheelchair, but this rather failed. So she was leaning on me quite heavily by this point, but we struggled on to Brian Blessed.
I can't describe my fascination with the man. He's so incredibly and unutterly cool. So, me and my excited self plus a hobbling Iona make our way down the queue. We are promptly attacked by John Billingsley.
"Are you drunk?"
"No! I've torn my ligaments!"
Brian Blessed signed my Vultan picture (I gibbered my thanks... this man is my hero!) and then offered to break Iona's leg to make it more equal. Clare and I agreed. Iona, strangely, did not. John Billingsley continued to heckle us, and eventually offered to sign Iona's non-existant cast. He signed her jeans instead. We worked out that we had Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Neelix, The Doctor, Dr Phloxx, Boss Nass and Chewbacca all staring at us by this point.
More hysterical phone calls ensued, as you might have guessed.
We then spent the rest of the day ouside Costa with Mora and her friends, one of whom was a goth!Elf by the name of Raven. This made life rather confusing, let me tell you. We also met up with Sidg and Liz at many points, and told them our hysterical story. Eventually, I went to pick up Miranda, Clare picked up Iona and we got a taxi back to the hotel.
We went back in to the hotel, dropped off Miranda, were relieved to find that our scam had not been discovered. We went for a meal, and then we read - a lot - and went to bed. We were knackered, for a start.
Well, we tried to go to bed. I had dropped off, and suddenly heard Iona poking at her phone.
"What the fuck are you doing?" (Please appropriate a suitably gravelly middle-of-the-night voice here.)
"I've set the alarm for the wrong time..."
"What time is it?"
"The alarm is wrong!"
She doesn't remember this. I do. Since, however, Lucy texted at a similiar time the night before, I can hardly critisize.
Day Three, Or How Haldir Became A Part Time Phone Technician.
Managed to kick Iona out of bed again the next morning (literally) and we checked out, leaving our belongings behind the foyer. Miranda was stared at in bemusement. I can't really blame the staff.
The taxi was a very posh Mercedes, and then off we went to the MKCentre for the last time...
Well, it was early. Very early. Clare and I were terribly keen on meeting LOTR guests, and Iona was along for the ride. We stood outside in the cold, and someone came along and grabbed hold of my neck in a mad hug. It could only be Liz, and it was. We stood outside and they tried to make me dance. I didn't, although I came close with the YMCA and I did end up singing the Arnold Rimmer song at them. We're all fans of daft British comedy, I think; Discworld and Red Dwarf. At any rate, they've never heard the song and this resulted in me doing the full song, complete with routines and also an attempt at harmonising.
*coughs ashamedly*
It did end up being a lot like Dawn Of The Dead, though, with us all clamouring to be let in. And so, they did! Hurrah! Got tickets for Craig Parker and attempted to get Iona a wheelchair. Alas, the shop was closed, so we went off again to Costa, invested in coffee and Frescato (coffee is FOUL) and waited for Craig Parker. He was very, very late and I really, really needed to pee. This was horribly combined with, as we finally met him in all his Elfy gloriousness, Iona dropped her phone and I was harassed as I had lost my little green thingy. Craig Parker fixed Iona's phone (I've already requested if I can have it, please) and I found my tickets and he touched me.
Sometimes, I think I should try this hetrosexuality lark. It looks fun, occasionally.
Clare and I wandered around in a happy daze for a little time, before we went to meet Lawrence Makoare and Sala Baker. Well, I did, and Clare accompanied me for Sala. Ironically, it was Iona who got the most attention, wheelchair and all - Sala started a conversation with her and she just smiled and nodded with this expression of "And you are...?" You need to watch this film, damn you!
Met Pervy Panneth, albeit late, which was ever so much fun. I also brought Clare an early birthday present. 7 months early, to be precise. Since that present was Brad Dourif and his autograph, let us not complain! He was lovely - I heard stuff saying that he was a bit of an arsehole, but he seemed to have recovered and was now very personable. I didn't have the heart to do my plan, which was to stick a postit note to his head saying the following:
"The country is Rohan.
The people are the Rohirrim.
The warriors are sometimes called the Eorlingas.
The language is Rohirric.
LEARN IT!"
Luckily, I didn't do that. He was a scary, scary dude and I feel he may not have appreciated it.
(Oh! Zombienation is on the radio! Hurrah for Shaun Of The Dead!!)
We also went to see John Billingsley again. We explained to the crew our situation, and they waved us through to get not one but two photographs. Brian Blessed told us to "Get the hell out of here!"
Yes, he is indeed my hero. One day, I'm going to make Clare and Iona watch Flash Gorden. When I get paid, I am actually planning on buying it.
And that seemed to be pretty much of the end of it. We went to see Claire-The-Dealer again to say goodbye and Iona finally brought a matching version of my t-shirt. We got a photo of the Ferengi First Rule Of Aquisition: "Once you have their money, never give it back." This is nearly as good as Zakzak's sign in A Hat Full Of Sky: "Nice to look at, lovely to hold, if you drop it you'll be pulled apart by wild horses."
We went and hung around in Costa yet again, saying hi to Sarah on the way, and then we went on a wander through the Centre. It's ever so big. I was picturing the Concourse, and the place is actually bigger than Ormskirk's town centre. Okay, that doesn't say a lot, but it was huge! I got to push Iona, which was an experience. Have you ever noticed that people will never look at someone in a wheelchair and nor will they apologise to them? It's strange. Mind you, anyone who remembered Iona from the day before said hi in a "Yay! You're fixed!" type of way.
And then we came home, with the oddness of our belongings thoroughly mocked.
"I still can't believe you brought a cardboard cut-out of Miranda Otto."
"You know Remus Lupin's middle name!"
"So do you!"
Even managed to grab an earlier train, which was nice and direct, and meant I didn't have to walk through Birmingham International with Miranda. The train ride was peaceful, all of us reading Discworld based around roughly the same place - Iona was in Lancre, I was in Uberwald and Clare was alternating between the two as she was reading Carpe Jugulum. When we eventually got back to Liverpool, Iona's parents laughed at me, and I became very aware of myself as I walked through Liverpool, dressed as I was with Miranda and a heavy bag on my back. I was alone and it was quite creepy, for lack of a better term. Some people did start hassling me in the train station by pulling my bag and me backwards, but I ignored them until I got my ticket, when my natural snarky side took over.
"I bid you goodnight, noble sirs and lady of the golden ale."
They looked confused and drunk. Which they were. I'm going to get myself killed one of the days, though.
Waited around forever for the train, got on it, went back to the misery of Ormskirk. I truly enjoyed my time away - 'freeeeeeedom!' as the historically inaccurate Mel Gibson would say. Now I am home, there are two dogs running around, I need to reaarange my bedroom to accomodate Miranda (she's in the spare room at the moment and has yet to be assembled), I have exams far too soon, but I'm still in a happy glow of fandom and of being able to sleep until 12pm.
Fandom. If you don't have one, you need one.
If you would like a better write up, try Iona's write up.
~Hathy_Col~
no subject
Date: 2004-05-03 10:09 am (UTC)I love it when you do write-ups, this is fantastic! I'm so happy that you had the good fortune of bumping into Corin Nemec, i can't think of a better person for it to happen too :D It was so great to see you again, and thanks for making me laugh whenever you were around!
no subject
Date: 2004-05-04 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-04 02:56 am (UTC)I touched an elf. And he touched me. And now I may never wash again. Except I had a shower this morning, so perhaps not. AND BRIAN BLESSED!
Miranda is not going in my front garden.
Re: PLease?
Date: 2004-05-05 04:00 am (UTC)She's my precious...