Politics and other such bunkum.
May. 21st, 2004 09:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolYes, I appreciate that an awful lot of my posts are about politics, but generally they're whinges along the lines of "Help! What the hell is STV?" or Why Michael Howard Is Probably The Antichrist.
I also ramble about my political views, which do tend to be on the side of "Viva la revolution!" except for when I think about it, which tends to put me firmly back into a practical and pragmatic viewpoint.
So, where does this leave me when I have to actually get up and y'know, vote? I know who I won't vote for, that's for sure. Part of me does support Labour, but New Labour makes me want to shudder.
What's vaguely worrying is that I'm currently feeling a major affinity for the Green Party. To the extent that I actually was seriously looking at membership. I shirked away in the end.
The thing is, I'm at a major cusp in my life. For what is probably the first time, I'm really aware that the world is totally and utterly mine for the taking. The world is a huge and amazing place, filled with things that are currently far past my comprehension and I want to understand them. For the first time, I actually don't know what it is I want to do with my life, and that's frightening but very exciting in its own way. I mean, think about it - I'm at this amazing age where I'm free to dye my hair, move to where I want to, dance around like a crazy person, drink until I'm sick, experiment wildly with myself and others. I mean... how brilliant and wonderful is that? I don't have to decide what to do with my life, and that's so brilliant and wonderful. I can see every city in the world, I can climb mountains, I can cross lakes, goddammit, I can do anything.
Which, obviously, leads to the question - what do I want to do with my life? I thought I knew. It seems I don't.
What do I want out of life?
I'm not sure I know. I want to be famous. Not in the tabloid sense, the reality TV sense, oh no. That's not real, lasting fame. I want people to know my name after I'm dead. Worldwide, I want people to know who I am. 10, 20, 50, 100, 1000 years after I'm dead, I want people to study me in history and politics and school. I don't necessarily want to be adored, although I'd rather enjoy being liked. Tolerated, perhaps.
Don't get me wrong - it's not all selfish. I'd like to make a difference, too. Yet it's not entirely unselfish, since I want people to know that I'd made a difference. Does that make sense? I don't want to be lauded as a saint, because that's just stupid, but I'd rather like people to say "That Cheetham girl, she was certainly good at getting stuff done." I'd like to clean up the world, stop the waste, stop the hate, just get things sorted.
Does that sound stupid?
So now I stand at the cusp of my life, and I sense that making a choice about political parties will make a really big difference... if I go to the Green Party, maybe I'll end up as an MEP, making a quiet difference but I'll have my morals. Or I'll end up as a history professor, searching through the mistakes of the past and wondering how I might have done in the same position. Or if I go to Labour, I may even be Prime Minister one day - but a little part of me will always be sad and bitter that I let my principles - for equality, for leaving a half decent world for the future - go down the pan. I'm not sure what, exactly, I want at this point in my life, so I'm leaving my particular party out of the equation at the moment.
Election in less than a month? Yasureyabetcha. I just won't be canvassing. This time. I like to be active in everything I do. What's the point if you're not the best, or at least not striving to be? What's the point of not being an active member?
(Says World's Number One jackfic lurker)
For now - for this moment - the world is my proverbial oyster. It's very pretty tonight, and I think that I'm lucky to see it the way it is, in a relatively happy and wellfed way, with no major wars on my doorstep, and the entire future stretching away from me.
At least for tonight, I think that I can feel relatively happy, even if I do have to struggle my way through Arminianism.
And doesn't this beautiful icon of Miranda Otto fit the mood?
~Hathy_Col~
I also ramble about my political views, which do tend to be on the side of "Viva la revolution!" except for when I think about it, which tends to put me firmly back into a practical and pragmatic viewpoint.
So, where does this leave me when I have to actually get up and y'know, vote? I know who I won't vote for, that's for sure. Part of me does support Labour, but New Labour makes me want to shudder.
What's vaguely worrying is that I'm currently feeling a major affinity for the Green Party. To the extent that I actually was seriously looking at membership. I shirked away in the end.
The thing is, I'm at a major cusp in my life. For what is probably the first time, I'm really aware that the world is totally and utterly mine for the taking. The world is a huge and amazing place, filled with things that are currently far past my comprehension and I want to understand them. For the first time, I actually don't know what it is I want to do with my life, and that's frightening but very exciting in its own way. I mean, think about it - I'm at this amazing age where I'm free to dye my hair, move to where I want to, dance around like a crazy person, drink until I'm sick, experiment wildly with myself and others. I mean... how brilliant and wonderful is that? I don't have to decide what to do with my life, and that's so brilliant and wonderful. I can see every city in the world, I can climb mountains, I can cross lakes, goddammit, I can do anything.
Which, obviously, leads to the question - what do I want to do with my life? I thought I knew. It seems I don't.
What do I want out of life?
I'm not sure I know. I want to be famous. Not in the tabloid sense, the reality TV sense, oh no. That's not real, lasting fame. I want people to know my name after I'm dead. Worldwide, I want people to know who I am. 10, 20, 50, 100, 1000 years after I'm dead, I want people to study me in history and politics and school. I don't necessarily want to be adored, although I'd rather enjoy being liked. Tolerated, perhaps.
Don't get me wrong - it's not all selfish. I'd like to make a difference, too. Yet it's not entirely unselfish, since I want people to know that I'd made a difference. Does that make sense? I don't want to be lauded as a saint, because that's just stupid, but I'd rather like people to say "That Cheetham girl, she was certainly good at getting stuff done." I'd like to clean up the world, stop the waste, stop the hate, just get things sorted.
Does that sound stupid?
So now I stand at the cusp of my life, and I sense that making a choice about political parties will make a really big difference... if I go to the Green Party, maybe I'll end up as an MEP, making a quiet difference but I'll have my morals. Or I'll end up as a history professor, searching through the mistakes of the past and wondering how I might have done in the same position. Or if I go to Labour, I may even be Prime Minister one day - but a little part of me will always be sad and bitter that I let my principles - for equality, for leaving a half decent world for the future - go down the pan. I'm not sure what, exactly, I want at this point in my life, so I'm leaving my particular party out of the equation at the moment.
Election in less than a month? Yasureyabetcha. I just won't be canvassing. This time. I like to be active in everything I do. What's the point if you're not the best, or at least not striving to be? What's the point of not being an active member?
(Says World's Number One jackfic lurker)
For now - for this moment - the world is my proverbial oyster. It's very pretty tonight, and I think that I'm lucky to see it the way it is, in a relatively happy and wellfed way, with no major wars on my doorstep, and the entire future stretching away from me.
At least for tonight, I think that I can feel relatively happy, even if I do have to struggle my way through Arminianism.
And doesn't this beautiful icon of Miranda Otto fit the mood?
~Hathy_Col~
