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Nov. 30th, 2005 03:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolThis is how my day began.
Doorbell rings. I look up groggily at the time, and it turns out that it's 10.30. As such, I run downstairs in my Unattractive Nightie and open the door to the postman. I take the post and put it in the kitchen before going back to bed. Because today? Is my day off.
Twenty minutes later, doorbell goes again. I snarl and let in the cleaning lady, who is around to clean out Lisa's room. She happily tells me to go back to bed. I do so and discover Katie.
"You are awake," I snarled. "And dressed and showered."
"Yes. Yes I am."
"Why didn't you OPEN THE DOOR?" (My housemates have long accepted that I'm not a morning person.)
"Because I was naked!"
Well, fair enough. Then I hear Derya. "Colleen! Go and pee in the jar!"
I stared at her door. "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GET UP?"
"Because I was asleep! Now go and pee in that jar before you forget!"
Oh, god. The things I do for money. I did as I was told and went back to bed until midday. However, I have been mildly productive, thus far. Watched Arial before going to sort out psychology lab stuff (oh joy). Back next week, but I'm going in the morning as I have Other Plans for the afternoon. I then proceeded to go to the medieval history library and actually got books on the Cistercians. We were all told you couldn't find them, which leads me to believe only about three people know where the medieval history library it. It's all good.
I have also put not one but two loads of laundry in. It's depressing how much space the sheets take up. I can't afford to dry them, though, so I'll have to spend three days drying them and then iron it all. ARGH.
Okay. Cistercian time. Three day loans on the lot of them so I'll have to actually read the bastards.
It's interesting, this one. I'm pretty open about everything I ever do in my life, and I assume people know stuff. Which makes uni tricky.
1. I'm at St Andrews University.
Which is pretty obvious, I like to think. What with it being in my userinfo AND ALL. I study history, for those that care - modern history, medieval history and also Intensive Spanish for Beginniners. I adore history, no matter what the occasional bitching. I find it fascinating and absorbing and have done since I was six. There was never any question of a different degree for me, although I did occasionally contemplate pairing it with something else. I'm glad I didn't, though. And it's a massive achievement, too, what with being the first in the family and all that jazz.
I deserve to be here. I worked hard to be here and I'm not stupid.
2. I essentially middle-class with a working-class mentality.
This is a product of my father. He will be the first to admit that he has Margaret Thatcher to thank for our current status. My Dad, being essentially lazy, left school after his exams and proceeded to work as a docker, a builder, a trainee plasterer, and a lot of stuff in the middle. Problem: all of these jobs quietly disappeared under Thatcher. Feeling embittered at 25, he decided that the right thing to do was see his qualifications and see what they'd pay him to train to be. A few years in psychiatric nursing later, he married my mother, got a job in his current place of employment and proceeded to work his way steadily up the ladder.
The thing is, though, I remember with vivid clarity the days when we really were skint. And I still go and see my grandparents in the council estate in Dudley. I know what it is to be actually working class, and we still more or less live like that at home. We have a nice house. We have a nice kitchen, a nice bathroom, four bedrooms, semi-detatched and in the suburbs. And to pay for this out of two lots of nurses wages, there isn't a lot left off. My parents will support me as best they can, but I know I'm on my own for this uni lark, basically.
It also means that I tend to get much more irritated at assumptions that university and the government makes that I can afford this and that, or the damned prejudice a lot of people here have against us plebs.
3. I used to be a teenage goth.
This has evolved into me being grouped under that terrible term, 'alternative'. I don't know what that means, but I have piercings, dress a certain way, and listen to mostly guiter based music. I can't help it. Anyone who has met me, I think, mentally pegs me. Which isn't a bad thing, but... eh.
And I still occasionally glam myself up, put on the nail varnish and lipstick, and wear my dogcollar with pride.
4. I have utterly no idea how to describe myself anymore.
In terms of those two confusing (and intertwining) subjects of religion and sexuality, I mean. Ask me what religion I am, I'll say "Catholic, but..." and for sexuality, I tend to just go "Um?" For the former, I spent an awful lot of time being virulently anti-Catholic out of the way I was raised, and now I'm feeling a lot more sympathetic towards it. I don't like the Pope, I don't like the teachings on a lot of things, but now I'm distant I can suddenly see all the sense that some of it makes, and the feeling of comfort that religion brings. I'm not intelligent enough to question enough.
Sexuality? That's a tricky one. I'm comfortable in myself but a lot of people aren't because they can't ringfence me, which leads to me still thinking "hang about, I'm not exactly a lesbian" because, well,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zeta_of_s is a bloke. I dislike the term 'bisexual' because it indicates that I'm equally interested in either gender. Newsflash: I'm not. At all. I still prefer women on a general level. Men are a specific thing. There's Simon, somewhat obviously. I am beginning to notice other blokes - when did David Tennant get so pretty? - but as a general rule, I'm still going to perve over Miranda Otto rather than Orlando Bloom. It's not as though I ever really had a type as it was. This leads me, in conclusion, to saying that I like people. Or specifically, I like one person and I like him a lot, and that's about as close as it gets, I suppose. I have no plans whatsoever to change this situation, so this is all a moot point. Although I do tend to dramatically sigh "God, it was easier when I was a lesbian" when Katie and discuss the contents of bottom drawers and have to try and explain stuff to Derya. Good fun.
5. I am a fangirl.
Might sound basic, but it's a huge part of my life and always will be. I had no friends and confidence until I found fandom. Five years later, and despite the bitching and nastiness (when did it get like that?) I'll be grateful.
6. I am disgustingly maternal.
Don't get me onto the kids issue, that's different. Rather, I want to help people and protect them. Come to me with a problem and I will listen, make tea, and then make practical suggestions and try to do something. I worry if people don't get sleep and vitamins and food, and I like cooking. I think most people who have met in RL will realise this.
7. I am emotional.
I cry at films. If I have a bad day, I really feel it. I can easily fall into a blue funk for a week and sometimes they are very much of the bad. At the same time, though, I feel everything, not just the sadness. My elation is a wonder to see, my guilt is easily manipulated, I laugh long and hard, I'm affectionate, I can hate. I feel things. It's nice. When I feel numb is when you really need to worry about me.
8. I used to be a dancer.
And oh god oh god oh god I miss it so much. Ten years of my life. Ballet, tap, modern, jazz and a lot of stuff in between. I love watching graceful things and people (River is an ongoing delight to me) even if I can't really dance too well myself. I can dance bloody well, given a routine, but I suck when it's just me in a club or whatever. I had to give it up because a. I was the chubby one at the back with glasses (compared to the others, I hasten to point out) and b. time constraints. I miss it.
9. I never get involved in fandom wank.
And I never will. It's degrading to all concerned.
10. I like the basics in life.
Someone very wise (well, I think it wasloneraven anyway) once told me that there are three pleasures in life: eating, sleeping, and sex. As a general rule, I don't seem to get all three consistently in the levels I would like, but I do when I can. I enjoy having nice meals, preferably with mayonnaise, potatoes, nice bread, or all three. I adore sleeping, and get 10 hours a night when I can wangle it. This means I tend to go to bed earlyish and sleep as late as possible. As for my sex life, well. We all saw That Post (one day, I am going to link it in his journal and make his flist suffer it too) which makes me remember the lows and the highs of an LDR. I talk about all three a lot and try to get them all. It's a simple recipe for a happy Colleen.
~Hathy_Col~
Doorbell rings. I look up groggily at the time, and it turns out that it's 10.30. As such, I run downstairs in my Unattractive Nightie and open the door to the postman. I take the post and put it in the kitchen before going back to bed. Because today? Is my day off.
Twenty minutes later, doorbell goes again. I snarl and let in the cleaning lady, who is around to clean out Lisa's room. She happily tells me to go back to bed. I do so and discover Katie.
"You are awake," I snarled. "And dressed and showered."
"Yes. Yes I am."
"Why didn't you OPEN THE DOOR?" (My housemates have long accepted that I'm not a morning person.)
"Because I was naked!"
Well, fair enough. Then I hear Derya. "Colleen! Go and pee in the jar!"
I stared at her door. "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GET UP?"
"Because I was asleep! Now go and pee in that jar before you forget!"
Oh, god. The things I do for money. I did as I was told and went back to bed until midday. However, I have been mildly productive, thus far. Watched Arial before going to sort out psychology lab stuff (oh joy). Back next week, but I'm going in the morning as I have Other Plans for the afternoon. I then proceeded to go to the medieval history library and actually got books on the Cistercians. We were all told you couldn't find them, which leads me to believe only about three people know where the medieval history library it. It's all good.
I have also put not one but two loads of laundry in. It's depressing how much space the sheets take up. I can't afford to dry them, though, so I'll have to spend three days drying them and then iron it all. ARGH.
Okay. Cistercian time. Three day loans on the lot of them so I'll have to actually read the bastards.
It's interesting, this one. I'm pretty open about everything I ever do in my life, and I assume people know stuff. Which makes uni tricky.
1. I'm at St Andrews University.
Which is pretty obvious, I like to think. What with it being in my userinfo AND ALL. I study history, for those that care - modern history, medieval history and also Intensive Spanish for Beginniners. I adore history, no matter what the occasional bitching. I find it fascinating and absorbing and have done since I was six. There was never any question of a different degree for me, although I did occasionally contemplate pairing it with something else. I'm glad I didn't, though. And it's a massive achievement, too, what with being the first in the family and all that jazz.
I deserve to be here. I worked hard to be here and I'm not stupid.
2. I essentially middle-class with a working-class mentality.
This is a product of my father. He will be the first to admit that he has Margaret Thatcher to thank for our current status. My Dad, being essentially lazy, left school after his exams and proceeded to work as a docker, a builder, a trainee plasterer, and a lot of stuff in the middle. Problem: all of these jobs quietly disappeared under Thatcher. Feeling embittered at 25, he decided that the right thing to do was see his qualifications and see what they'd pay him to train to be. A few years in psychiatric nursing later, he married my mother, got a job in his current place of employment and proceeded to work his way steadily up the ladder.
The thing is, though, I remember with vivid clarity the days when we really were skint. And I still go and see my grandparents in the council estate in Dudley. I know what it is to be actually working class, and we still more or less live like that at home. We have a nice house. We have a nice kitchen, a nice bathroom, four bedrooms, semi-detatched and in the suburbs. And to pay for this out of two lots of nurses wages, there isn't a lot left off. My parents will support me as best they can, but I know I'm on my own for this uni lark, basically.
It also means that I tend to get much more irritated at assumptions that university and the government makes that I can afford this and that, or the damned prejudice a lot of people here have against us plebs.
3. I used to be a teenage goth.
This has evolved into me being grouped under that terrible term, 'alternative'. I don't know what that means, but I have piercings, dress a certain way, and listen to mostly guiter based music. I can't help it. Anyone who has met me, I think, mentally pegs me. Which isn't a bad thing, but... eh.
And I still occasionally glam myself up, put on the nail varnish and lipstick, and wear my dogcollar with pride.
4. I have utterly no idea how to describe myself anymore.
In terms of those two confusing (and intertwining) subjects of religion and sexuality, I mean. Ask me what religion I am, I'll say "Catholic, but..." and for sexuality, I tend to just go "Um?" For the former, I spent an awful lot of time being virulently anti-Catholic out of the way I was raised, and now I'm feeling a lot more sympathetic towards it. I don't like the Pope, I don't like the teachings on a lot of things, but now I'm distant I can suddenly see all the sense that some of it makes, and the feeling of comfort that religion brings. I'm not intelligent enough to question enough.
Sexuality? That's a tricky one. I'm comfortable in myself but a lot of people aren't because they can't ringfence me, which leads to me still thinking "hang about, I'm not exactly a lesbian" because, well,
zeta_of_s is a bloke. I dislike the term 'bisexual' because it indicates that I'm equally interested in either gender. Newsflash: I'm not. At all. I still prefer women on a general level. Men are a specific thing. There's Simon, somewhat obviously. I am beginning to notice other blokes - when did David Tennant get so pretty? - but as a general rule, I'm still going to perve over Miranda Otto rather than Orlando Bloom. It's not as though I ever really had a type as it was. This leads me, in conclusion, to saying that I like people. Or specifically, I like one person and I like him a lot, and that's about as close as it gets, I suppose. I have no plans whatsoever to change this situation, so this is all a moot point. Although I do tend to dramatically sigh "God, it was easier when I was a lesbian" when Katie and discuss the contents of bottom drawers and have to try and explain stuff to Derya. Good fun.5. I am a fangirl.
Might sound basic, but it's a huge part of my life and always will be. I had no friends and confidence until I found fandom. Five years later, and despite the bitching and nastiness (when did it get like that?) I'll be grateful.
6. I am disgustingly maternal.
Don't get me onto the kids issue, that's different. Rather, I want to help people and protect them. Come to me with a problem and I will listen, make tea, and then make practical suggestions and try to do something. I worry if people don't get sleep and vitamins and food, and I like cooking. I think most people who have met in RL will realise this.
7. I am emotional.
I cry at films. If I have a bad day, I really feel it. I can easily fall into a blue funk for a week and sometimes they are very much of the bad. At the same time, though, I feel everything, not just the sadness. My elation is a wonder to see, my guilt is easily manipulated, I laugh long and hard, I'm affectionate, I can hate. I feel things. It's nice. When I feel numb is when you really need to worry about me.
8. I used to be a dancer.
And oh god oh god oh god I miss it so much. Ten years of my life. Ballet, tap, modern, jazz and a lot of stuff in between. I love watching graceful things and people (River is an ongoing delight to me) even if I can't really dance too well myself. I can dance bloody well, given a routine, but I suck when it's just me in a club or whatever. I had to give it up because a. I was the chubby one at the back with glasses (compared to the others, I hasten to point out) and b. time constraints. I miss it.
9. I never get involved in fandom wank.
And I never will. It's degrading to all concerned.
10. I like the basics in life.
Someone very wise (well, I think it was
loneraven anyway) once told me that there are three pleasures in life: eating, sleeping, and sex. As a general rule, I don't seem to get all three consistently in the levels I would like, but I do when I can. I enjoy having nice meals, preferably with mayonnaise, potatoes, nice bread, or all three. I adore sleeping, and get 10 hours a night when I can wangle it. This means I tend to go to bed earlyish and sleep as late as possible. As for my sex life, well. We all saw That Post (one day, I am going to link it in his journal and make his flist suffer it too) which makes me remember the lows and the highs of an LDR. I talk about all three a lot and try to get them all. It's a simple recipe for a happy Colleen.~Hathy_Col~
