(no subject)

[hathycol]

I could try and talk in a sensible and coherant tone about last night. About how lovely and Christmassy I feel, how great it was to be sat in an audience of students watching A Muppet's Christmas Carol and then all decided simultaneously that Derya was Scrooge. I could talk about failing my Spanish test.

But no, I don't think anything will top Ethel.

Ethel is a lobster.

Ethel is alive. (Or so I sincerely still hope.)

Ethel is in our fridge.

It made sense for Sarah to get Katie a lobster right up until the minute we picked her up.

She is hideous, it has to be said.



"Shit! How do we look after the buggar?"



"Cover it in saltwater soaked newspaper? If you say so. Can we tuck it in?"



"Aww." (Simon and I were the ones to tuck her in.)



"Where do we keep her? In the FRIDGE."



"With, y'know, the butter."

It's been a weird day.

~Hathy_Col~

Comments

[spacellama.livejournal.com]

Do you plan to cook her, or is she a pet? Because I can tell you from personal experience that you can grow attached to those little dudes. So much that you can't bear cooking them (and listening to them "scream," which is really just heat, air pressure, and the shell).

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

is it like, living, or is it dead? cause surely the fridge would be too cold?
I'd say the bathtub, if you had one obviously.

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

oh, I skipped the bit where it said she was alive. In restaurants they're generally just in a fishtank are they not?

[javelin-deano.livejournal.com]

This is rather strange. Just today in college Rob ended up buying and eating a Lobster from Tesco's in Southport.
Weird coincidence.

[not-vacillating.livejournal.com]

OMG lobster! Called Ethel! Is Ethel for eating, or a long-term fixture?

[moralanqua.livejournal.com]

OMG DUN EET TEH LUBSTAR!!!!111

I would love for Ethel to live but keeping a marine animal of her size would be too difficult and expensive for a house of students. She needs a marine tank and that will cost you £££.

You are all guilty of animal cruelty right now. Time for changes, Lady! :(

The newspaper is a bad idea. The chemicals from the ink will attack her shell.

If you need to keep her alive for longer, stick her in the biggest tub or bin you have, fill it with cold water and add half a cup of aquarium salt NOT table salt. Aquarium salt is really cheap at any pet shop. Table salt has iodine in it which is baaaad for marine animals.

Don't keep her suffering, boiling her alive is bad enough. The least you gals can do is make her comfy while she waits to die.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Ethel is being cared for in the advised manner and yes, we are planning on eating her. That's how we were told by the dude at the shop how to look after her. We are using the right salt, too.

I'm not that stupid that I think keeping a lobster in a fridge as a long term fixture is a fab idea, despite evidence to the contrary.

Also? Lobsters cannot feel pain. Scientific fact!

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Eating. Although I feel terrible for doing so. But yes, she is tonight's meal.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, but she is waiting to be eaten. This is how you store them!

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Cook. We can't realistically keep her as a pet - alas! - and she will be tasty.

I won't be going near the kitchen when we do so.

[not-vacillating.livejournal.com]

It's at times like this that I'm glad to be able to sit on top of my box (which is conviently and accurately labelled 'vegetarian') and point and laugh at the strange habits of meat-eaters. You are going to eat Ethel, probably with relish.

[not-vacillating.livejournal.com]

*points* *laughs*

[hyrnetanga.livejournal.com]

OMG the insanity!

[calmunity2.livejournal.com]

why on earth have you got a lobster in your fridge and if its that cold are you shure ethel will survive over the christmas period
hope you had a good time at the muppets christmas carol

[moralanqua.livejournal.com]

Then forget it and eat the bitch before she goes mouldy!

What kind of students are you anyway? Lobster dinners?!! Back in my day it was 25p packets of noodles, toast and farmfoods boil in the bag curry!

I blame France.

[zeta-of-s.livejournal.com]

She has been eaten. Sort of, anyway...

We are St Andrews students, daaaaaaarling. We're only skint because we don't have Jeeves to cook our lobster for us. (To be fair? She was bought with an overdraft and we now CANNOT EAT until FEBRUARY. I wish I could afford boil in the bag!)

I also blame France. *nods* It is the fault of Manu, the French girl who lives next door.

[zeta-of-s.livejournal.com]

This is hathy_col, but I am signed in as Simon because he is sneakily checking my comments for me, I grabbed the computer and replied with no forethought. Oops!

*pets zeta_of_s who cannot object because I AM SITTING ON HIM HAHAHA*

[sevenhelz.livejournal.com]

ahh. this rather makes sense of the "ethel is dead" post above...
xx

[sevenhelz.livejournal.com]

also, you have a large fridge. *fridge envy*
xx

[moralanqua.livejournal.com]

OMG! Teh POSH has taken over our Colleen!11 OH NOEZ!

Next you will be wearing pearls and watching polo instead of getting drunk on voddy and redbull and falling asleep in gutters.

ps why are you sitting on a boy? What kind of pervert are you?

ps again, did you get paid to sit on him?

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I am not TEH POSH. Often I mock TEH POSH because the pashmina-and-pearls crew are HYSTERICALLY FUNNY. Polo is scary (I go and watch the inter-hall football, does that count?) and vodka and redbull costs too much. SHOTS FOR ME BABY. Or with orange juice because I need the vitamin C.

I was not paid to perch on Simon, but there was one chair in my rom and he'd hijacked the computer, so I sat on him. In a non-perverted way, may I add.