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May. 28th, 2006 03:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolIf anyone would like to give me a flamethrower then it would be very much appreciated right now.
(Also, I've not yet seen Doctor Who. I went out last night, and the omnibus of Eastenders take priority. That should, I think, sum up my mood.)
I'm back in the good old land of Ormskirk. I'm not, as one might expect, over-joyed about the entire thing. Me and Dad drove home yesterday, and I think I probably should have seen the omens at the time. You see, my boot flew wide open on the M6. (To be precise, on the top of Shep - it's the highest motorway pass in the country, I believe.) This involved lots of me screaming the place down and slamming the brakes on in the hard shoulder and lots of that good old time Catholic religion, in which I prayed frantically to anyone listening that my stuf hadn't fallen out.
Fortunately, it didn't. I did have to stop at the next services, in which I lied that I needed petrol but mostly it was to stop the shaking. It is really quite scary to have that happen.
Anyway. I made it home without any further problems, and was greeted by my mother, who wanted me to advise her on what to wear for her night out. In Liverpool. Far be it from me to comment that she's, well, not as young as she was, as long as she is happy, etc, etc. She's just... not my mum anymore. And I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it's true. She's just gone mental with the weight loss thing, and okay, she's happy, but... well, I know I've changed a lot this year too. So there we are, I suppose.
I went out last night, though. I haven't seen many of the A15 crew since, well, the Leaver's Ball, so I imagined I'd been forgotten about and that was the end of that. Becky had been texted me for a while, though, about her engagement party, and since it was on the day I got home for university, off I went!
It was such a blast. I wasn't there for very long as I was swaying with exhaustion and I had to drive home on the M6 (she lives quite a distance from me), but loads of people were there and it was nice having a good old natter about everything that had happened to us - people have changed universities, or got boyfriends, or are going on holiday soon, or just had their son christened, and lots of stuff like that. (I did have a mildly uncomfortable conversation with Cara: "You still with Clare?" "Erm..." Always a bizarre one to explain, that.) So yay for that.
Today I slept in and unpacked the rest of my stuff. It doesn't all fit, but I've done what I can.
I still might actually kill my sister. Between insulting Simon, and never stopping talking, and finding the Pill (I am dead inside, now), I just want rid of her.
I'm fed up, already, of being lectured. YES I AM USING MY DAMNED LAPTOP AND YES I WILL PLUG THE FUCKING USB CABLE IN AGAIN. I'm fed up of the materialism - is it all my mother and sister think about, going shopping, and going to the gym, and looking thin? I'm slobbing around in an old pair of jeans and a Harry Potter t-shirt and you'd think that I'd poisoned a puppy. I'm fed up of talking about Big Brother, and the only paper in the house being the Daily Mirror, and having no privacy (Mum has already rooted through my stuff - anything I don't want her to find I fortunately took the precaution of hiding in the first ten minutes), and the fact that should I want Simon around, he has to sleep in the spare room, and that my sister never stops damned talking all the time about boys and clothes and make-up. When I was in the jalf term before my GCSEs, I was revising my arse off, but apparently that's out of the window. Mum told me that she feels like she's ignoring Megan academically, but really, there's not a lot to ignore. No wonder I do and did better than her.
I also mentioned, in passing and jest, how some days it feels like I can't afford to eat.
"You should manage your money better, then!"
I stomped into my room with a pile of washing, retorting that I would like to see her live on just under £4000 a year. (I sat down and worked it out - including what I bought in from the summer and any work this year, that is it.) Given I paid, well, a lot in bills, I'm slightly amazed I ate at all. If you think I don't look after myself, start ending me some more money, cheapskate. Which I feel unfair saying, given I stil get a monthly allowance of £50 (steady rate since I was 14 in return to for getting nothing bought for me, clothes and the life, can I say that Megan gets a tenner a week and stuff bought for her?) and they#ve paid for car bills but, well, yes.
All in all, I'm as as frustrated as hell and I don't want to be here. Job hunting starts on Tuesday (being a Bank Holiday, I suspect various hotels don't want me hanging around and giving in CVs, and the admin jobs won't be open) so I can start having a cast-iron excuse to not be in the house. I was looking for somewhere 9-5, but now I'm debating trying to find some nightshift stuff - I can justifiably be asleep all day, then. And next Tuesday, I'm going to Cambridge and I am NOT coming back until I absolutely have to.
I am aware that I am being horrible and hypocritical, because I am being put up rent free this summer, and they're not bad as an example of a family goes (excepting my sister - there is no merit in her existence and anyone who has met her agrees with this) but oh, god, I need to get out of her.
And it's only been 24 hours. Will you excuse me? I think I might go and hide in my room and see about installing a lock, because I have three and a half months of this. In uni, I can go out at 2am for a walk to clear my head, and no one questions it. I don't have that option here, because there's nowhere to go. I will probably go insane this summer. YAY!
Then I might see about watching Doctor Who. Surely Eastenders is over by now?
~Hathy_Col~
(Also, I've not yet seen Doctor Who. I went out last night, and the omnibus of Eastenders take priority. That should, I think, sum up my mood.)
I'm back in the good old land of Ormskirk. I'm not, as one might expect, over-joyed about the entire thing. Me and Dad drove home yesterday, and I think I probably should have seen the omens at the time. You see, my boot flew wide open on the M6. (To be precise, on the top of Shep - it's the highest motorway pass in the country, I believe.) This involved lots of me screaming the place down and slamming the brakes on in the hard shoulder and lots of that good old time Catholic religion, in which I prayed frantically to anyone listening that my stuf hadn't fallen out.
Fortunately, it didn't. I did have to stop at the next services, in which I lied that I needed petrol but mostly it was to stop the shaking. It is really quite scary to have that happen.
Anyway. I made it home without any further problems, and was greeted by my mother, who wanted me to advise her on what to wear for her night out. In Liverpool. Far be it from me to comment that she's, well, not as young as she was, as long as she is happy, etc, etc. She's just... not my mum anymore. And I know that's a terrible thing to say, but it's true. She's just gone mental with the weight loss thing, and okay, she's happy, but... well, I know I've changed a lot this year too. So there we are, I suppose.
I went out last night, though. I haven't seen many of the A15 crew since, well, the Leaver's Ball, so I imagined I'd been forgotten about and that was the end of that. Becky had been texted me for a while, though, about her engagement party, and since it was on the day I got home for university, off I went!
It was such a blast. I wasn't there for very long as I was swaying with exhaustion and I had to drive home on the M6 (she lives quite a distance from me), but loads of people were there and it was nice having a good old natter about everything that had happened to us - people have changed universities, or got boyfriends, or are going on holiday soon, or just had their son christened, and lots of stuff like that. (I did have a mildly uncomfortable conversation with Cara: "You still with Clare?" "Erm..." Always a bizarre one to explain, that.) So yay for that.
Today I slept in and unpacked the rest of my stuff. It doesn't all fit, but I've done what I can.
I still might actually kill my sister. Between insulting Simon, and never stopping talking, and finding the Pill (I am dead inside, now), I just want rid of her.
I'm fed up, already, of being lectured. YES I AM USING MY DAMNED LAPTOP AND YES I WILL PLUG THE FUCKING USB CABLE IN AGAIN. I'm fed up of the materialism - is it all my mother and sister think about, going shopping, and going to the gym, and looking thin? I'm slobbing around in an old pair of jeans and a Harry Potter t-shirt and you'd think that I'd poisoned a puppy. I'm fed up of talking about Big Brother, and the only paper in the house being the Daily Mirror, and having no privacy (Mum has already rooted through my stuff - anything I don't want her to find I fortunately took the precaution of hiding in the first ten minutes), and the fact that should I want Simon around, he has to sleep in the spare room, and that my sister never stops damned talking all the time about boys and clothes and make-up. When I was in the jalf term before my GCSEs, I was revising my arse off, but apparently that's out of the window. Mum told me that she feels like she's ignoring Megan academically, but really, there's not a lot to ignore. No wonder I do and did better than her.
I also mentioned, in passing and jest, how some days it feels like I can't afford to eat.
"You should manage your money better, then!"
I stomped into my room with a pile of washing, retorting that I would like to see her live on just under £4000 a year. (I sat down and worked it out - including what I bought in from the summer and any work this year, that is it.) Given I paid, well, a lot in bills, I'm slightly amazed I ate at all. If you think I don't look after myself, start ending me some more money, cheapskate. Which I feel unfair saying, given I stil get a monthly allowance of £50 (steady rate since I was 14 in return to for getting nothing bought for me, clothes and the life, can I say that Megan gets a tenner a week and stuff bought for her?) and they#ve paid for car bills but, well, yes.
All in all, I'm as as frustrated as hell and I don't want to be here. Job hunting starts on Tuesday (being a Bank Holiday, I suspect various hotels don't want me hanging around and giving in CVs, and the admin jobs won't be open) so I can start having a cast-iron excuse to not be in the house. I was looking for somewhere 9-5, but now I'm debating trying to find some nightshift stuff - I can justifiably be asleep all day, then. And next Tuesday, I'm going to Cambridge and I am NOT coming back until I absolutely have to.
I am aware that I am being horrible and hypocritical, because I am being put up rent free this summer, and they're not bad as an example of a family goes (excepting my sister - there is no merit in her existence and anyone who has met her agrees with this) but oh, god, I need to get out of her.
And it's only been 24 hours. Will you excuse me? I think I might go and hide in my room and see about installing a lock, because I have three and a half months of this. In uni, I can go out at 2am for a walk to clear my head, and no one questions it. I don't have that option here, because there's nowhere to go. I will probably go insane this summer. YAY!
Then I might see about watching Doctor Who. Surely Eastenders is over by now?
~Hathy_Col~
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 06:28 pm (UTC).... From my mother as well.
This is why im looking forward to university insanely. My sister is as irritatng as hell and my mother has suddenly turned on me in the last few weeks. I think it's because im leaving soon and am obviously looking forward to it but she sits and snaps at me whenever she gets the oppotunity.
But yeah, my sister. In between insulting me and everything I do, stealing my favourite books and hiding them (the latest one is taking hardbacks and cracking the spines) trying to get me in trouble with my parents and hiding the phone so I can't use it, she finds the time to steal whatever money I leave in my room. (Hence why all my worldly wealth is carried with me)
I can more than sympathise
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 02:09 pm (UTC)ROLL ON SEPTEMBER SAY I. Because litle sisters are EVIL.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 02:11 pm (UTC)