Van Helsing
May. 10th, 2004 11:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolWell, that was crap.
Started off in strange black and white which had no purpose other than to show off in a sort of "LOOK! LOOK AT ME! I'M INTERLEKSHUAL!" Dracula started off promisingly, though.
Mr Hyde. Nice touch in that he was Scottish, but once again they had the wrong pronounciation of Jekyll. Also seemed slightly pointless to me - whilst I realise he's an important part of LXG (thanks,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
settiai) I also remember reading the book. I'm almost sure that Hyde wasn't supposed to be like that! Dude, Jekyll sends up killing himself because he cant cope without being Hyde!
At any rate, this did not bode well for the rest of the film.
The film continued. Kate Beckinsale turned up in skimpy leather and both Andrew and I looked at each other and went 'phowar!' David Wenham turned up and I was torn between outright fear and hysterics. I mean... there were moments when he looked like Faramir, and my worldview cannot cope with certain things. Faramir as a religious Q is one of those moments.
Where did we go from there?
Well, it got very silly very quickly. I spent a large portion of the film urging the brides to just have an orgy and be done with it. There were such distinct lesbian vibes... and admittingly, rather attractives ones to. Call me a pervery (cos it's TRUE) but I did spend half the film staring at the cleavage. Whoops.
Kate Beckinsale continued to strut around in her leather, and Van Helsing seemed fairly flat. The character just did nothing for me. Wolfman growled a lot, David Wenham nanced, I shielded my eyes, and Dracula continued to be worryingly pretty. I mean... hmmm. I suspect it may have been the hair. I think I'm naturally affiliated with vampires as it is, but there was something about him. Horrifically cheesy, I realise, but... oh my. I think I may actually have a new deviation, which do occur from time to time. And Dracula is that deviation. Hell, I think I want to go and get out the Anne Rice books and have hot!angsty!vampires again. It was the hair. Oh, the hair. I leaned over to Andrew at one point and simply said
"Dude, I would have been his bride."
"Oh, thank god. I thought it was just me."
Erm. Yes.
The film as a whole though was utterly, utterly dire. There were a lot of pretentious references which simply didn't work... I mean, the egg thing. Well, fine, it fits in with the mythology, but it wasn't necessary.
Make the whole film about Dracula! Yes! That's a good idea! Dracula! Richard Roxburgh! (Who really does nothing for me without the pretty hair and the fangs and the OH MY.) He effortlessly secuced everything on screen, cheesy lines or not, reminding me a lot of Magneto in X-Men, actually.
But, yes. The film was shite, and I had a pretentiosu review ready, but I got distracted by the Fanged One.
And hypocrite that I am, I've added the film to my interests.
Finally, I found this snippet innepygill's journal.
"And it is at this point I will introduce you to Colleen, Stargate fan (I'm to blame for that one), cynic and all round smartmouth, always says what she thinks and it's often very amusing when you hear it. She was one of my Guides when I was a patrol leader, and a very good one at that. Now she had the chance to be a patrol leader for this camp and discovered it's not quite all it says in the job description."
?!
Anyway. Just had hellish history lesson, although it turns out I've been nominated for the prospectus next year. Erm... yay?
And off I go on a search for Dracula stuff to get it out of my system. I may even go and see the movie again.hammer_strike! You busy?
~Hathy_Col~
Started off in strange black and white which had no purpose other than to show off in a sort of "LOOK! LOOK AT ME! I'M INTERLEKSHUAL!" Dracula started off promisingly, though.
Mr Hyde. Nice touch in that he was Scottish, but once again they had the wrong pronounciation of Jekyll. Also seemed slightly pointless to me - whilst I realise he's an important part of LXG (thanks,
settiai) I also remember reading the book. I'm almost sure that Hyde wasn't supposed to be like that! Dude, Jekyll sends up killing himself because he cant cope without being Hyde!At any rate, this did not bode well for the rest of the film.
The film continued. Kate Beckinsale turned up in skimpy leather and both Andrew and I looked at each other and went 'phowar!' David Wenham turned up and I was torn between outright fear and hysterics. I mean... there were moments when he looked like Faramir, and my worldview cannot cope with certain things. Faramir as a religious Q is one of those moments.
Where did we go from there?
Well, it got very silly very quickly. I spent a large portion of the film urging the brides to just have an orgy and be done with it. There were such distinct lesbian vibes... and admittingly, rather attractives ones to. Call me a pervery (cos it's TRUE) but I did spend half the film staring at the cleavage. Whoops.
Kate Beckinsale continued to strut around in her leather, and Van Helsing seemed fairly flat. The character just did nothing for me. Wolfman growled a lot, David Wenham nanced, I shielded my eyes, and Dracula continued to be worryingly pretty. I mean... hmmm. I suspect it may have been the hair. I think I'm naturally affiliated with vampires as it is, but there was something about him. Horrifically cheesy, I realise, but... oh my. I think I may actually have a new deviation, which do occur from time to time. And Dracula is that deviation. Hell, I think I want to go and get out the Anne Rice books and have hot!angsty!vampires again. It was the hair. Oh, the hair. I leaned over to Andrew at one point and simply said
"Dude, I would have been his bride."
"Oh, thank god. I thought it was just me."
Erm. Yes.
The film as a whole though was utterly, utterly dire. There were a lot of pretentious references which simply didn't work... I mean, the egg thing. Well, fine, it fits in with the mythology, but it wasn't necessary.
Make the whole film about Dracula! Yes! That's a good idea! Dracula! Richard Roxburgh! (Who really does nothing for me without the pretty hair and the fangs and the OH MY.) He effortlessly secuced everything on screen, cheesy lines or not, reminding me a lot of Magneto in X-Men, actually.
But, yes. The film was shite, and I had a pretentiosu review ready, but I got distracted by the Fanged One.
And hypocrite that I am, I've added the film to my interests.
Finally, I found this snippet in
nepygill's journal."And it is at this point I will introduce you to Colleen, Stargate fan (I'm to blame for that one), cynic and all round smartmouth, always says what she thinks and it's often very amusing when you hear it. She was one of my Guides when I was a patrol leader, and a very good one at that. Now she had the chance to be a patrol leader for this camp and discovered it's not quite all it says in the job description."
?!
Anyway. Just had hellish history lesson, although it turns out I've been nominated for the prospectus next year. Erm... yay?
And off I go on a search for Dracula stuff to get it out of my system. I may even go and see the movie again.
hammer_strike! You busy?~Hathy_Col~
no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 06:42 am (UTC)Gill
no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 01:18 pm (UTC)Hated beiong patrol leader.
Hate being young leader.
Will hate being Guide leader.
Why am I doing this again?
no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 09:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 01:34 pm (UTC)