(no subject)
Aug. 3rd, 2004 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolRight now I should be really happy, and I'm not.
See, life isn't too bad at the moment. It really isn't, and that's actually nice. Woke up nice and early this morning to watch a storm, dozed a little while, and got out of bed and went to toddle around before going to Dan's for training. Really good training session, too, but then Chris completely wound me up the wrong way ("Die, you bastard! You are actually dead!" "No! I'm not!" He's like that knight from Monty Python or something) and I just went... mad. And that's not good. It just completely knackered me out, for a start, and then left me all wibbly for a while. And I felt bad - I don't like being like that. Bit of agression is good, letting a bit of it out and, y'know, Not Dying, but... just... no. I'm not happy with myself at all. Although I did improve, and I know I did. So that tempers general self annoyance. Note to self - okay, am agressive now, so time to tone it down a little. Everyone knows that it exists. Go me and my funky self. I did improve, and I am pleased with myself, but there's a potential dangerous road I could go down there and I don't want to. Harrumph. I don't really think I can get my feelings down; I'm not as verbose or fluent as others on my flist, I'm afraid.
So, that was that. I came home and got in the shower, and scrubbed and found many sore spots. Neargh. Much in the way of painful spots. I am bruised, once more.
Went to work, swaying somewhat and hoping desperately for the caffiene to kick in. It did, eventually.
Came home and found myself a text message from Natalie. Bless her little wonderful and fabulous heart, she has managed to get tickets for Keane! I think I loff her. So, that's another reason to be in a good mood.
And I have a good week ahead of me, since tomorrow I'm off doing random climbing things with Dad and on Friday it's off for another Resident Lunatics meetup at Clare's house, and hell, next week it's my birthday! Wow. Forgot about that.
I suppose it doesn't help that I just had a massive argument with my sister. Several things in this universe really, really tick me off and one of them is the term 'gay' being used to descibe something in the negative. Megan used it in between ranting about the computer, me, her friends. If she was in HP, she would BE OVERUSING THE CAPS LOCK! And I just... well, I didn't go off the handle, I just stood there and calmly took it, but it just really shook me up. I can't speak to her now, it's worse than usual. And now Mum just came in and had a go about it. Megan was crying. Fuck her, I don't care. She cries at anything, just deliberatly to get attention.
I think I need to go and have a cup of tea and go to bed. I always try not get angry with my mother, and I feel bad when I snap at her, but this is just... I don't care anymore. She then pretends it never happens, so old problems with fester. Screw them all. I really need to sleep, I think. God, I have to spend a day in an enclosed space with El Sister tomorrow.
Must be the weather. This is Lonely November weather, not Happy August weather.
Happy note! Honestly. Meet The Gryphon Legion. Go Dan for sending me this. I quite like this photo: front line is (left to right)![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kestral_de_hara, hammer_strike, Julia, hathy_col, Chris and Dan, with devlin_rose at the back. Go us. If the photo doesn't work, then it's copy/paste www.angelfire.com/scifi/hatohrsempire/bsu.jpg into your browser. Thank you.
~Hathy_Col~
See, life isn't too bad at the moment. It really isn't, and that's actually nice. Woke up nice and early this morning to watch a storm, dozed a little while, and got out of bed and went to toddle around before going to Dan's for training. Really good training session, too, but then Chris completely wound me up the wrong way ("Die, you bastard! You are actually dead!" "No! I'm not!" He's like that knight from Monty Python or something) and I just went... mad. And that's not good. It just completely knackered me out, for a start, and then left me all wibbly for a while. And I felt bad - I don't like being like that. Bit of agression is good, letting a bit of it out and, y'know, Not Dying, but... just... no. I'm not happy with myself at all. Although I did improve, and I know I did. So that tempers general self annoyance. Note to self - okay, am agressive now, so time to tone it down a little. Everyone knows that it exists. Go me and my funky self. I did improve, and I am pleased with myself, but there's a potential dangerous road I could go down there and I don't want to. Harrumph. I don't really think I can get my feelings down; I'm not as verbose or fluent as others on my flist, I'm afraid.
So, that was that. I came home and got in the shower, and scrubbed and found many sore spots. Neargh. Much in the way of painful spots. I am bruised, once more.
Went to work, swaying somewhat and hoping desperately for the caffiene to kick in. It did, eventually.
Came home and found myself a text message from Natalie. Bless her little wonderful and fabulous heart, she has managed to get tickets for Keane! I think I loff her. So, that's another reason to be in a good mood.
And I have a good week ahead of me, since tomorrow I'm off doing random climbing things with Dad and on Friday it's off for another Resident Lunatics meetup at Clare's house, and hell, next week it's my birthday! Wow. Forgot about that.
I suppose it doesn't help that I just had a massive argument with my sister. Several things in this universe really, really tick me off and one of them is the term 'gay' being used to descibe something in the negative. Megan used it in between ranting about the computer, me, her friends. If she was in HP, she would BE OVERUSING THE CAPS LOCK! And I just... well, I didn't go off the handle, I just stood there and calmly took it, but it just really shook me up. I can't speak to her now, it's worse than usual. And now Mum just came in and had a go about it. Megan was crying. Fuck her, I don't care. She cries at anything, just deliberatly to get attention.
I think I need to go and have a cup of tea and go to bed. I always try not get angry with my mother, and I feel bad when I snap at her, but this is just... I don't care anymore. She then pretends it never happens, so old problems with fester. Screw them all. I really need to sleep, I think. God, I have to spend a day in an enclosed space with El Sister tomorrow.
Must be the weather. This is Lonely November weather, not Happy August weather.
Happy note! Honestly. Meet The Gryphon Legion. Go Dan for sending me this. I quite like this photo: front line is (left to right)
kestral_de_hara, hammer_strike, Julia, hathy_col, Chris and Dan, with devlin_rose at the back. Go us. If the photo doesn't work, then it's copy/paste www.angelfire.com/scifi/hatohrsempire/bsu.jpg into your browser. Thank you.~Hathy_Col~
no subject
Date: 2004-08-03 05:34 pm (UTC)Family is always a complicated thing. We love them so much for a reason- so we can hang around.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 02:00 am (UTC)And I'm sorry you're feeling sucky. We're going to have to spoil you rotten next week. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-05 04:55 am (UTC)All this from sitting down next to a person who looked as nervous as me in our first English lesson. :-)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 03:24 am (UTC)and I couldn't get the picture to work, however, it's in my posession and It'll be going up on to the front page of the site in a bit. When I fully wake up.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 12:45 pm (UTC)