hathycol | (no subject)

NOT DEAD HONEST.

Work remains a little slow, although I'm just about coping with it and hopefully it's busy enough to, you know, keep the place in business. Hopefully it is.

I spent the weekend at

stupidore's, which was a fabulous weekend wherein we watched all of the first season of The Walking Dead. I really enjoyed it, and Katie made a good point that it's built like a drama, not a horror film; I was convinced I would be jumping out of my skin all the time, but it's not jumpy like a horror film. The women in it made me want to thump the TV, but other than that, it was a good few hours of TV. We also followed it up with Dodgeball. Good times. It was a lovely weekend, and nice to get away for a little bit, even if I did have to dodge drunks on the train up to Edinburgh.

Unfortunately, that weekend heralded the last wedding free weekend in a while. The last two nights have been full of Wedding Stuff and working out finances and meals and stuff. We have to pay off the church and reception in the next ten days, which we have the money for due to a year of mild austerity, but it's all getting a bit serious now. We're spending the weekend putting together our list at John Lewis, the weekend afterwards involves my first dress fittings, and after that we're going up to St Andrews. We're back on top of things now - I think! - but it's been a stressful couple of days.

I went to a pill review last week, and the cheery nurse asked me to stand on the scale. I hesitated, as it's just been Christmas and I've got the same approach with my weight that I do to my bank balance, i.e. If I Don't Look At It Nothing Bad Will Happen. Have put on four pounds since last pill review in August. Now, this is not a negative thing and normally I could deal with this, but I have to put that wedding dress back on by next Saturday. This is why I am on The Special K diet and after three days I am doing very well, other than a nagging sense of guilt that this cannot my healthy. The Special K Diet, for those not in the know, means that I'm eating Special K for breakfast and for lunch, a snack of fruit mid-afternoon, and a normal meal in the evening. No crisps, no chocolate, and my own weight in green tea.

I am feeling... okay, actually. I knew I'd put weight on, and I was beginning to be full of an exciting amount of self-loathing about the whole thing. I felt like I was drowning under the weight of myself, some days, which is frankly bloody ridiculous as for goodness sake, I am a size twelve and not weighing all that much and even if I did then what does it matter? Really?

I think that sometimes this whole Wedding Thing is eating my brain. I am trying to make sure it doesn't, but it does sometimes. There are expectations and they freak me out sometimes.

Also? Bluntly? I've spent £300 on this dress, and I need to be the same shape I was in May when I bought it. I went to the gym then, frankly!

Once the two weeks are up, and presuming I fit in the dress next Saturday, I'll switch back to trying to just be sensible with what I ate, as over Christmas I massively binged. But for now it's all about the Special K and blueberries.

In happier news, the hen do is now in the process of being Sorted Out and I am very very excited about it. The plan is to dress up as Awesome Women of Sci-Fi. I'm planning on going as River Song, and I'm having some trauma over getting the costume together, but if I can work out a gun slinger then I'm sorted.