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hathycolI am getting married next weekend. I am, to the surprise of myself and those around me, not a wreck. Hurrah!
However, there are some things I have noticed, and this is mostly a list to myself but also to other people.
PLEASE TRY not to suggest things to me about my looks. I have been surprised at the sheer level of vanity/paranoia that the whole Bride thing has set off; comments are innocently made, but combined with the knowledge that these photos are going to be around FOREVER I am paranoid. An reasonably innocuous comment about my eyebrows by my mother has led to unexpected waxing. Okay, it ended well, but there we go. "How are you having your hair?" I get asked a lot, and when I mention I'm not straightening it/wearing it out people sometimes give me A Look. SERIOUSLY I HAVE THOUGHT THIS OUT BUT I AM CURRENTLY FRAGILE. I am periodically ending up in very strange thought spirals. So, er, unless I am actively asking your opinion then possible don't opine on my looks. You wouldn't do it to me normally.
On a related note, DO NOT ask me if I'll be wearing my glasses on the day. I wear my glasses during every waking hour. I cannot see without them, I can't abide wearing contact lenses, and I look like a mole without my glasses on. At what point is it sensible for me to take my glasses off?
DO NOT tell me your horror stories. "On my wedding day, the priest got our names wrong and I fell over my own veil," Damn Fool Boss's wife cheerfully told me the other day. I nearly cried. They are funny stories, I will freely admit, just not at the moment.
DO tell me your horror stories about stuff that cannot possibly happen on my wedding day. A friend told me about a wedding she attended where the child of the pastor ran around unchecked for the whole thing. There is no child of the pastor at my wedding, so I can laugh and also faintly victorious that whatever may go wrong at my wedding, this will not be it.
DO NOT ask me open-ended questions that can be solved with common sense. I cannot arrange how you are getting to the wedding. I am sorry. I provided instructions with the invitations. I am also unable to find you shoes, tell you when you check in to your hotel (a real question from Richie's mum), or advise what time you should take off work.
DO ask me specific questions. Matt sent a text to enquire if a guest house he had found was a sensible distance from the town. I can answer these questions without having the sense that I'm having to organise you on top of organising myself.
DO NOT assume Richie is in some way invisible, or not helping with the wedding. We've split it remarkably equally.
DO ask me about the day. Look, I like to burble about it, and to be honest I can't help it. I enjoy talking about it!
DO tell me about stuff that is not to do with the wedding. Please, please, please. Tell me about the course you're doing. Tell me about your new job. Chat with me about Being Human and why Tom is ace. Discuss that new book with me. Tell me about why you're never drinking gin again after what you did last weekend. Bitch with me about your neighbours. Just, you know, I am still a person who isn't this mythical bride figure. I like being the centre of attention, and it's a fabulously easy (and fun!) topic to talk about, but I can be drawn along a line of just talking about it and that is a bit rubbish.
And DO tell me when I'm being ridiculous. I tend to hysteria at the best of times, and now I'm even worse. Laugh at me, I need it sometimes.
However, there are some things I have noticed, and this is mostly a list to myself but also to other people.
PLEASE TRY not to suggest things to me about my looks. I have been surprised at the sheer level of vanity/paranoia that the whole Bride thing has set off; comments are innocently made, but combined with the knowledge that these photos are going to be around FOREVER I am paranoid. An reasonably innocuous comment about my eyebrows by my mother has led to unexpected waxing. Okay, it ended well, but there we go. "How are you having your hair?" I get asked a lot, and when I mention I'm not straightening it/wearing it out people sometimes give me A Look. SERIOUSLY I HAVE THOUGHT THIS OUT BUT I AM CURRENTLY FRAGILE. I am periodically ending up in very strange thought spirals. So, er, unless I am actively asking your opinion then possible don't opine on my looks. You wouldn't do it to me normally.
On a related note, DO NOT ask me if I'll be wearing my glasses on the day. I wear my glasses during every waking hour. I cannot see without them, I can't abide wearing contact lenses, and I look like a mole without my glasses on. At what point is it sensible for me to take my glasses off?
DO NOT tell me your horror stories. "On my wedding day, the priest got our names wrong and I fell over my own veil," Damn Fool Boss's wife cheerfully told me the other day. I nearly cried. They are funny stories, I will freely admit, just not at the moment.
DO tell me your horror stories about stuff that cannot possibly happen on my wedding day. A friend told me about a wedding she attended where the child of the pastor ran around unchecked for the whole thing. There is no child of the pastor at my wedding, so I can laugh and also faintly victorious that whatever may go wrong at my wedding, this will not be it.
DO NOT ask me open-ended questions that can be solved with common sense. I cannot arrange how you are getting to the wedding. I am sorry. I provided instructions with the invitations. I am also unable to find you shoes, tell you when you check in to your hotel (a real question from Richie's mum), or advise what time you should take off work.
DO ask me specific questions. Matt sent a text to enquire if a guest house he had found was a sensible distance from the town. I can answer these questions without having the sense that I'm having to organise you on top of organising myself.
DO NOT assume Richie is in some way invisible, or not helping with the wedding. We've split it remarkably equally.
DO ask me about the day. Look, I like to burble about it, and to be honest I can't help it. I enjoy talking about it!
DO tell me about stuff that is not to do with the wedding. Please, please, please. Tell me about the course you're doing. Tell me about your new job. Chat with me about Being Human and why Tom is ace. Discuss that new book with me. Tell me about why you're never drinking gin again after what you did last weekend. Bitch with me about your neighbours. Just, you know, I am still a person who isn't this mythical bride figure. I like being the centre of attention, and it's a fabulously easy (and fun!) topic to talk about, but I can be drawn along a line of just talking about it and that is a bit rubbish.
And DO tell me when I'm being ridiculous. I tend to hysteria at the best of times, and now I'm even worse. Laugh at me, I need it sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-05 10:04 pm (UTC)... I don't know either. But that? The above? Cannot happen.
I'm loving Being Human and its new chemistry and relationships, but I sorely miss Goerge and Nina, and Mitchell to a lesser extent. I'm enjoying Upstairs Downstairs because I'm allowed to ship River Song and Morgause. ♥
My hair's grown past my shoulders. I know I had it cut in December, and that time means that hair grows, but I was still surprised.
You know what? I've seen dozens of wedding photos (I - er - tripped and fell on the Offbeat Bride website?), and the participants always look bloody gorgeous because they're all radiant with love and fizzy energy. :)
I have two essays and a presentation to do before next Friday! I have three more essays and a dissertation and then I'll graduate. I'll actually graduate.
These are some of the thoughts in my head, here to distract you!
Also, now I'm off to eat cheese and biscuits. MMMMMMmmmmmmmm.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-05 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-06 07:51 pm (UTC)I miss Mitchell for the eye candy BECAUSE I AM SHALLOW but I really like Hal and Tom; weirdly I find myself worrying about Annie still fitting in.
Graduating is EXCITING. I had to work so, so hard to finish my degree (final years are tough, dude, I do not envy you) but graduating is YAY.
Mmmmm, cheese. Now that's a thought.
Thank you!