"Tell me we both matter, don't we?"
Sep. 8th, 2005 07:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolI just cross-posed to the world and his wife, but it's still vlaid - the winners are in for Mauve and Dangerous! I didn't win, as I was in the Scariest And Most Impossibly Category Ever To Win, but dude, I just helped to run a fic awards. I think I've grown up in fandom. This month, for those who care, if my five year anniversay in fandom. Five years ago, I met ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nepygill and the wonderful ride began, via the mediums of Stargate and Lord Of The Rings and X-Men: Evolution and Harry Potter and Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who and Dracula and zombies and Flash Gordon and Anne Rice and Buffy and Angel and seven conventions and everything else in the middle.
I've been a fangirl for a long, long time, and at times I still feel like a helpless n00b at times. Sometimes I feel old and cynical with the entire deal. I really do, what with the wank, and the patheticness at times, but on the other hand, fandom has been the best thing to hit me EVER. Feedback gave a painfully awkward teenager some confidence with generally cruel classmates. Internet gave me friends who linked me to other friends. LiveJournal meant that I made more friends, and that in turn linked me to some really rather special people. Even now that I have (le gasp) a social life and other such nonsense, I rely on fandom. I rely on you lot.
The last five years, in conclusion, have been a blast. Here's to another five years!
...
Oh dear. That came out all rather sounding like one of the terrible 'goodbye!' speeches I'm doing in my head to everything and then I might actually cry, which would be absolutely awful and somewhat embarrassing. I went shopping with my mother today, and I even paid for lunch. To be fair, she paid for stuff like cutlery, and a rug, and some cushions, and some socks which I do rather desperately need. It was just... sad. I have everything I need for university now, except sending of the direct debit form because we ran out of stamps. Now all I need to do is pack and say goodbye to people, and things, and stuff that suddenly mattered more than I thought it ever would. Obviously, university is a new start, I know that, but I'm going to have a lot of trouble saying goodbye to my little market town in the north of England. I have to go for last drinks with people, and meals with others, and oh god I'm getting sad and nostalgic.
I booked my Last Ever Hair Appointment today. Except I didn't, as I have to have a consultation on Tuesday before they actually put some new colours and shapes into my hair on Thursday. This probably means I have plans on Thursday as I will want to show off my shiny new hair. Except Thursday will be my second-last night in Ormskirk. It's only a week away, and I'm trying not to think about it because mostly, I am going to miss the way my life is Ormskirk just improved beyond any kind of belief. Which, really, is sod's law and leads me to ask why the hell this improvement waited so long to happen. Mostly my own fault, I suppose. But there we are.
.
Oh, for god's sake, Colleen, shut the fuck up. I'm being a depressing twat, and I'm going to stop now. I really am. Otherwise I will die before I ever get to university through comfort eating.
Listening to Gravity by Ashes probably isn't helping this, is it?
...
Last night, I had some weird dreams involving elljay type people. I won't go into them because they are... um... complex to explain with context and stuff, but one that sticks out was going to Bournemouth withelyim and seeing Guys And Dolls. It was really, really weird, and Ewan didn't have a very big part in the end, and we had to swim to get to the theatre.
SEE NOW SHE STALKS MY DREAMS TOO.
...
I am in a very weird mental place tonight, I think. I will watch a bad film about dragons on the TV and try to ignore that Megan has her not!boyfriend Chris over, because lo! for he is an inbred eejit, or something like that. It is very irritating. He is ALWAYS HERE. Can he not just go home or something? Or can they not just go the fuck out or something?
(I wonder who my mother will bitch to about this when I am gone.)
Anyway! On an entirely unrelated note,
1. The way I speak on LJ is almost identical to the way I speak out loud. I'm not kidding. The exclamation marks and capital letters and "teh"? All said out loud. Ask anyone who's met me, I'm occasionally incomprehensible.
2. Speaking of being incomprehensible, until I was 13, I couldn't pronounce 'th' in certain words. Tief, thunder, three and similar words all had this issue. Really embarrassing. I forcefully trained myself out of it to pronounce 'Hathor' out loud.
3. Both of my parents are smokers, but I've never touched a cigarette.
4. I'm also the only one in my peer group at college who's never smoked weed. Now don't get me wrong; I'nm all for new experiences, and I wouldn't mind trying, but every time the opportunity came up (well, mostly this summer), I was unwilling as I had no idea how it would take me and I was generally busy the next day.
5. I like singing, but only when the music is so loud you can't hear me. And only to certain songs.
6. I'm currently howling along to Mr Brightside by The Killers, for those who care. "... she's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now..."
7. While we're on a musical bent, I suddenly turned popular this year. Now, don't get me wrong - I still have plenty of classical in the collection as well as downright weird heavier stuff, but all of a sudden my music collection is all Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Killers, The Kaiser Chiefs, The Futureheads, and basically? I am NMEs bitch at the moment.
8. That said, SFX is my most favouritst magazine ever and I have nearly every issue since about 2002.
9. I don't really like Three very much. I know I should. I just don't.
10. I find it almost impossible to keep things secret and generally, I'm about as subtle as a brick to the face, so this list was rather hard to compile. My LJ has practically everything on it that was ever needed to know about me, and quite a lot that isn't needed to know. Seriously, you guys get a window into my head with every useless update. I like to think that people enjoy reading it, but it's probably not true. But yes, this list? USELESS. Sorry.
11 (and why not?): Despite the sheer wankyness of this post, I'm rather cheerful at the moment. I mean, I'm a fairly happy person at the best of times, but life is suprisingly good at the moment. Please take me with a pinch of salt, as seriously, I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic and weird. Mostly, at the moment, I feel delighted because life is going damned well.
(Note to flist - quoting song lyrics in post - artistic and emblatic of my Trendy Yet Arty Student Soul or just wanky?)
Right. The Proclaimers are going on rather than Running Up That Hill, as that song looks pretty quoted but makes me feel sad. The Proclaimers! It's a happy song about Scottishness! And being drunk! And walking five hundred miles and five hundred miles more! And dah-nah-nah-nah! And stuff like that! And ignore that it makes me think of college friends!
(I wonder what I will think of this post when I look over it in a week's time or so.)
~Hathy_Col~
nepygill and the wonderful ride began, via the mediums of Stargate and Lord Of The Rings and X-Men: Evolution and Harry Potter and Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who and Dracula and zombies and Flash Gordon and Anne Rice and Buffy and Angel and seven conventions and everything else in the middle.I've been a fangirl for a long, long time, and at times I still feel like a helpless n00b at times. Sometimes I feel old and cynical with the entire deal. I really do, what with the wank, and the patheticness at times, but on the other hand, fandom has been the best thing to hit me EVER. Feedback gave a painfully awkward teenager some confidence with generally cruel classmates. Internet gave me friends who linked me to other friends. LiveJournal meant that I made more friends, and that in turn linked me to some really rather special people. Even now that I have (le gasp) a social life and other such nonsense, I rely on fandom. I rely on you lot.
The last five years, in conclusion, have been a blast. Here's to another five years!
...
Oh dear. That came out all rather sounding like one of the terrible 'goodbye!' speeches I'm doing in my head to everything and then I might actually cry, which would be absolutely awful and somewhat embarrassing. I went shopping with my mother today, and I even paid for lunch. To be fair, she paid for stuff like cutlery, and a rug, and some cushions, and some socks which I do rather desperately need. It was just... sad. I have everything I need for university now, except sending of the direct debit form because we ran out of stamps. Now all I need to do is pack and say goodbye to people, and things, and stuff that suddenly mattered more than I thought it ever would. Obviously, university is a new start, I know that, but I'm going to have a lot of trouble saying goodbye to my little market town in the north of England. I have to go for last drinks with people, and meals with others, and oh god I'm getting sad and nostalgic.
I booked my Last Ever Hair Appointment today. Except I didn't, as I have to have a consultation on Tuesday before they actually put some new colours and shapes into my hair on Thursday. This probably means I have plans on Thursday as I will want to show off my shiny new hair. Except Thursday will be my second-last night in Ormskirk. It's only a week away, and I'm trying not to think about it because mostly, I am going to miss the way my life is Ormskirk just improved beyond any kind of belief. Which, really, is sod's law and leads me to ask why the hell this improvement waited so long to happen. Mostly my own fault, I suppose. But there we are.
.
Oh, for god's sake, Colleen, shut the fuck up. I'm being a depressing twat, and I'm going to stop now. I really am. Otherwise I will die before I ever get to university through comfort eating.
Listening to Gravity by Ashes probably isn't helping this, is it?
...
Last night, I had some weird dreams involving elljay type people. I won't go into them because they are... um... complex to explain with context and stuff, but one that sticks out was going to Bournemouth with
elyim and seeing Guys And Dolls. It was really, really weird, and Ewan didn't have a very big part in the end, and we had to swim to get to the theatre.SEE NOW SHE STALKS MY DREAMS TOO.
...
I am in a very weird mental place tonight, I think. I will watch a bad film about dragons on the TV and try to ignore that Megan has her not!boyfriend Chris over, because lo! for he is an inbred eejit, or something like that. It is very irritating. He is ALWAYS HERE. Can he not just go home or something? Or can they not just go the fuck out or something?
(I wonder who my mother will bitch to about this when I am gone.)
Anyway! On an entirely unrelated note,
1. The way I speak on LJ is almost identical to the way I speak out loud. I'm not kidding. The exclamation marks and capital letters and "teh"? All said out loud. Ask anyone who's met me, I'm occasionally incomprehensible.
2. Speaking of being incomprehensible, until I was 13, I couldn't pronounce 'th' in certain words. Tief, thunder, three and similar words all had this issue. Really embarrassing. I forcefully trained myself out of it to pronounce 'Hathor' out loud.
3. Both of my parents are smokers, but I've never touched a cigarette.
4. I'm also the only one in my peer group at college who's never smoked weed. Now don't get me wrong; I'nm all for new experiences, and I wouldn't mind trying, but every time the opportunity came up (well, mostly this summer), I was unwilling as I had no idea how it would take me and I was generally busy the next day.
5. I like singing, but only when the music is so loud you can't hear me. And only to certain songs.
6. I'm currently howling along to Mr Brightside by The Killers, for those who care. "... she's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now..."
7. While we're on a musical bent, I suddenly turned popular this year. Now, don't get me wrong - I still have plenty of classical in the collection as well as downright weird heavier stuff, but all of a sudden my music collection is all Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Killers, The Kaiser Chiefs, The Futureheads, and basically? I am NMEs bitch at the moment.
8. That said, SFX is my most favouritst magazine ever and I have nearly every issue since about 2002.
9. I don't really like Three very much. I know I should. I just don't.
10. I find it almost impossible to keep things secret and generally, I'm about as subtle as a brick to the face, so this list was rather hard to compile. My LJ has practically everything on it that was ever needed to know about me, and quite a lot that isn't needed to know. Seriously, you guys get a window into my head with every useless update. I like to think that people enjoy reading it, but it's probably not true. But yes, this list? USELESS. Sorry.
11 (and why not?): Despite the sheer wankyness of this post, I'm rather cheerful at the moment. I mean, I'm a fairly happy person at the best of times, but life is suprisingly good at the moment. Please take me with a pinch of salt, as seriously, I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic and weird. Mostly, at the moment, I feel delighted because life is going damned well.
(Note to flist - quoting song lyrics in post - artistic and emblatic of my Trendy Yet Arty Student Soul or just wanky?)
Right. The Proclaimers are going on rather than Running Up That Hill, as that song looks pretty quoted but makes me feel sad. The Proclaimers! It's a happy song about Scottishness! And being drunk! And walking five hundred miles and five hundred miles more! And dah-nah-nah-nah! And stuff like that! And ignore that it makes me think of college friends!
(I wonder what I will think of this post when I look over it in a week's time or so.)
~Hathy_Col~
no subject
Date: 2005-09-08 08:38 pm (UTC)And regardless of what you'll think of this post when you look over it later, I think it was rather fun to read :)
no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 12:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-08 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 02:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-08 10:25 pm (UTC)2 - Speech therapy at the age of six to dispel a really quite prominent
lithplisp3 - Snap
4 - Semi-snap
5 - Snap (usually while cycling, and there are no pedestrians around in whom I can cause bleeding from the ears)
While we're in the mood for sharing... :D
no subject
Date: 2005-09-08 10:28 pm (UTC)I enjoy reading it. :) Sorry this is a little random, I lurk a bit. May I friend you? Your LJ's very interesting.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 01:49 pm (UTC)"Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another."
-- 7th Doctor, 'The Greatest Show in the Galaxy'.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-08 10:40 pm (UTC)Um um um what else?
Yay for fandom!
I enjoy reading your LJ! :D
I love the Proclaimers. That's such a happy fun song.
I'm sure I had something enlightening I was going to say... oh well.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-09 12:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-10 10:55 pm (UTC)maybe you'd realised that already ^_^
anyway whatcha doin all week then? i have daytimes up till about three oclock free all week... would be nice to see you...
xx