hathycol: (sad leeta)
[personal profile] hathycol
The kids in the flat upstairs are no more than four and two. They run around a lot, as in the wont of toddlers, but recently the noise has become APPALLING. The thunking is now so loud it shakes the furniture in our flat. I have no idea how to approach this as an issue, because I can't even work out how they are making such noises. Here are some suggestions:

1. They have a trampoline up.

No, really. It thunks and then there is rattling. It's unholy. It would explain why one small child can make the noise of several despite it being WELL PAST BEDTIME. Bouncy castles are also other possible explanations.

2. There's a donkey up there.

Look, I live by the seaside. The donkey rides by the pier are but a matter of minutes away from my house. We have a very narrow staircase in this block of flats. And if Discworld has taught me nothing else, you can get a donkey up a narrow set of stairs but you'll be damned if you can get it down again. The thunking is obviously the donkey, and the kids shrieking is clearly horror at the donkey. Obviously.

Any minute now, we're going to see a donkey flying past the window.

3. They are weighing down the kids with dumb bells.

It would explain the thunking when they run. Why the weight training? Well, I have yet to explain that, but who knows.

4. They're just really, really crappy at putting their kids to bed.

... this is clearly a terrible explanation. Seriously, people, even I've seen Supernanny and I know how you put small, recaltricant kids to bed. So that obviously can't be a answer.

It's causing some difficulties. The intermittant beeping noise has ceased, which is a thing of joy and wonder. When I lie in bed at night, I enjoy the sound of, well, not silence, exactly. The sound of Richie breathing is good, and distant traffic, and birds singing, and things like that. The sound of small children running about, and screaming, and the TV upstairs turned up louder just to compensate for the screaming IS NOT FUCKING CONDUCIVE to sleep or to a peaceful Colleen. It's not like a get a lie-in to compensate. Although I have on one occasion asked for the TV to be turned down, I can't go up and ask for the kids to be turned down, because I have no idea how to communicate this fully to people who speak shaky English and the mother is, to be honest, a bit of a cow anyway.

Let's hope they find a way to get the donkey out soon.

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