(no subject)

[hathycol]

Oh dear.

I'm not angry any more, which is a positive thing, or alternatively I've just stopped noticing. I have swung around to Irrational Tears which is so much worse.

I blame my mother.

I sobbed my eyes out after that bloody bloody stupid argument, which I don't normally do EVER. Then I cried at Mickey Blue Eyes. Then I went to bed, and that was okay, and today was going quite well, other than grumpiness and a sort of "eep! workload!"

Now the radio is playing 'Hurt' by Johnny Cash and I'm crying again. For no good reason, it's stupid, and I'm writing about it to try and make it go away. And now it's Coldplay 'Speed of Sound' which also makes me cry because it was my song of summer, the night I passed my driving test and went out in the car by myself for the first ever time.

Also I am eating myself to death but I am eating fruit and also it is a natural reation to stress for me.

Positives to the Pill:

1. As of yesterday, I am now safe for sex without barrier contraception.
2. My skin is, actually, really improving in terms of acne but it geting very dry, which I suspect is more that the heating is constantly on in this house.

Yeah. Could do without the crying it's causing because I'm sat here to myself going "WHY YOU STUPID BINT?" when I have to go and rehearse a comedy play in, argh, twenty minutes...

Comments

[tau_sigma]

*hugs*

[emmysuze.livejournal.com]

See, I'm less weepy than when I went on the Pill. It all gets us in many different and multi-faceted ways of pain. You'll learn to deal with all this soon hun, promise. And there's no excuse for your family, but to say one word in your Mum's defence, it's a difficult time when you first-born leaves home apparently. Personally, I think my mother gave a woop of joy and cooked loads of meat, but everyone copes differently. My Dad has a terrible time trying to remember which of his two daughters is which as he's constantly swearing blind he's told me stuff when he's told Lil' Sis. Plus, there is the one thing I don't like to think about - our parents are getting old(er). Altzeimers is an excuse for most things parental in my house.

And hey, if things get bad, sing a song about a hedgehog (or is it badger, it's a long time since I read any Discworld with Nanny Ogg in it!) xxx

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

*hugs back and weeps onto shoulders*

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I know that it will get better, but really, honestly of all the timing.

My mother is stressd about me leaving home, fine, but to kick off at me because of a mistake she made is not my fault. Bollocks to it. My mother is 41 years old and basically going through a total midlife crisis which I no longer have any sympathy for her because she's a fucking MARTYR.

Oh look the anger came back.

"You can buggar a giraffe if you're very tall,
BUT THE HEDGEHOG CAN NEVER BE BUGGARED AT ALL!"

[hyrnetanga.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

[emmysuze.livejournal.com]

Ah, your parents are much younger than mine. I agree, no excuse.

Rehearsal went well then ;)

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

*hugs back and sobs brokenly FOR NO GOOD REASON all over you*

[tashmania.livejournal.com]

*huge huggles*

I keep having arguments with my parents over the silliest stupidest things, and this is without the addition of Le Pill. I can sympathise, sweets x

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

*shakes fist at parents in general*

[hammer-strike.livejournal.com]

Ok I know you are ubber stressed and your mum is like GRRR and so on... but is it wrong that I find the fact you keep breaking into fits of tears quite a comical image?

I mean I just read the entry and laughed... a lot

I may go to hell quicker for this.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

No, it is funny. I keep on crying and then going "... wuh?" because it MAKES NO SENSE to be doing so. It is comical, it really is because it has to rhyme or reason. I got snuffly at the image of a baby bear on that Planet Earth thing earlier. I mean, honestly.

We are going to hell at the exact same speed, have no fear.

[hammer-strike.livejournal.com]

I really really really!!! Want to just keep jumping out from behind corners at you and flashing up pictures of puppies and cute baby otters and things. Just to for fun!

Why? I dunno, it'd kind be funny? right?...right? just you know "AHA puppy attack" and you'd break down and... I'd umm laugh... maybe. God this even sounds evil to me now!

Why don't I think ideas through more!