(no subject)

[hathycol]

Why can't I stop being like this? Why, when life is good and there are wonderful things happening to me and in my life, can't I just be happy with it? Why am I so ungrateful? I don't deserve things to be this good, and yet I'm here, genuinely contemplating just shutting my curtains and locking my door and curling under the blanket until everyone and everything goes away. Why can't I talk about this to anyone? I just joke and say it's okay and for most of the time it is it is, life is okay, but right now it's not but I can't talk to anyone, not properly, so I'm probably just some sort of social retard anyway, and whatever BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I don't want to be me, today. And I don't know why, because me has it pretty good, all things considered. I don't deserve all that's good, because I'm an ungrateful wretch. I'm sorry. I can't even cry properly and let it all about because I'm afraid of someone hearing. Fuck.

And now I'm going to go and get very, very drunk because BLUE DRINKS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.

Comments

[jennnlee.livejournal.com]

Sounds very blah. I do hope you feel better. You are welcome to email me long diatribes about What's Up; we know each other just well enough to be friends, but not so well that I know every little detail of your life and you have to worry that anything you say gets back to anyone. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm here if you need me. "Here," being, of course, on another continent. But you know what I mean. Hopefully.

[grace-golightly.livejournal.com]

*Hug*

You're not ungrateful. Everyone feels like that sometimes, even millionaires who get lots of sex with beautiful people (...OK, maybe *they're* ungrateful); and, y'know, you're on hormone-altering drugs, so I assume stuff like this is supposed to happen now and again.

Two suggestions:

1. If you put on very loud music, you can cry as loud as you like and no-one will be any the wiser. *Taps side of nose in a knowing fashion*

2. Shutting the curtains, locking the door and retreating to The World of the Blanket is acceptable every once in a while, as long as you remember to get up again.

That is all...

[tau_sigma]

*hugs* I know how you feel. Good ideas have already been produced about loud music and such; do cry, sometimes it can help to have a good cry. And if you ever want to phone and talk, or not talk, or listen to me waffle on about hyperboloids and the fact that my chair has just broken, or cry down a phone, or anything, you have my mobi number, I think.

Don't feel guilty about how you feel, at least. How you feel just is, and you're not ungrateful; sometimes it's just like that. *hugs*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie. It's okay, honestly. Everyone feels miserable, everyone has a right to feel miserable regardless of circumstances. It's you who dictates when you're blue, not your circumstances. I wanted to comment to say you made me feel so much better yesterday with your lovely package - I loved it - and I'm sorry no one's about to make you feel better.

Love you lots and lots. Drink water before you go to bed!

[javelin-deano.livejournal.com]

Everyone here seems to think you do deserve what you've got, they can't all be wrong. :)

Amazingly, if you can't seem to cry or any of the above, have a hypothetical discussion with someone in which you cover all your questions about yourself. Yes, sounds a bit weird, but depending on who you talk with you'll get away with it and it can make you feel better having someones unbiased support.

[sevenhelz.livejournal.com]

*cuddles*
i get like that.
i usually decide it's steve's fault and get very angry about it.
and then i forget what i was angry about and make up with him, which is always nice.
*pets*
xxx

[hyrnetanga.livejournal.com]

*huggles* You sound like you need it.

And you're not ungrateful, you're a lovely, lovely person, and you do deserve all that's good.

Hide from the world and cry if you need to, you'll feel better after.

[tashmania.livejournal.com]

*huge hugs* You do deserve things to be this good, but sometimes you can feel this way too. It's ok to feel sad sometimes.

*hug top-up* Hope you're feeling better...