of dentistry

[hathycol]

... and there is a journal title I never, ever wanted to use again.

For those of you new to the happy world of Colleen And Her Teeth, this whole drama began when I was a mere stripling of eight years old, having great fun at an adventure camp for wee 'uns. Then my best friend hit me around the face with a canoe paddle. As you do. Half of the front right hand tooth fell out, and that was the end of that.

Except it sort of wasn't, because the tooth that was left went and died on me. About four, nearly five years ago, I had the whole thing filed down and a permanent crown was put on it. By 'permanent' I mean 'It fell out when I was eating toast with flickerswitch in college when I was 17.'

I was pissed off. Unfortunately, I can't find the journal entry where I detail the last time this happened, but I was completely assured that this was was permanent and would last unless I got hit in the face again with a canoe paddle.

I have not been hit in the face with anything. To be precise, I was walking along, bit down whilst walking (not sure why) and... crunch.

I know that crunch noise. It is my worst enemy. It went crunch, but I wasn't spitting out any bits of teeth although the ominous throbbing of having poked the remaining nerves was still there. I panicked utterly and went to clean my teeth very gingerly. Half the crown fell off.

I made a wailing noise that was partially panic and partially pain. It went both ways.

I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamt of werewolves trying to break into work, and of the dentist laughing at me. It wasn't good. I woke up and felt sick with the wierd throbbing of toothache and of blind panic that I wouldn't be seen to. Nevertheless, because I am apparently channelling the spirit of Mother Theresa, I still went into work, except with a healthy side-portion of begging the Matron to let me off to phone the dentist and then to let me go and see him. She let me do so, possibly because my hideous grin (the inside of crowns is blue - who knew?) was scaring the residents.

I phoned, I made an appointment (I may have begged) and in I went for 11am sharp. I have a feeling the dentist was expecting a toothache and to prescirbe some antibiotics. I don't think he was expecting to pull out the remainder of a crown, fix on a temporary one and, bless him, measure me for the replacement. (The only other time this could have been done I was in Italy. I informed him of this and as horrified to find that I was about to start crying because oh my god I know how long this whole process takes.) An hour later, I staggered out with no feeling in my nose or indeed lower face and managed to drive back to work and manage to continue working for a further three hours.

Did I mention that I'm currently undergoing the delightful sensation of a cold caught off a 102 year old woman? Because I am, and I am terrified of sneezing out this ill-fitting temporary cap.

This is all... old news, though. I've done all this before. EXCEPT OH WAIT THAT NASTY AFTERTASTE IS NOT JUST THE TASTE OF ADHESIVE.

Oh no. All this malarky is costing me a shiny total of £194.00.

This new crown had better last. And better be made from fucking gold to make up for the fact I'm not eating until after Christmas. Excuse me, I'm going to go and eat nice food (but not the toffee I had waiting because that's just asking for trouble) and drink wine and watch Wicked.

BUT! HEY! I just looked at my profile and spacellama got me a V-Gift! WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED? Aww, a smile is on my face, albeit a hideously expensive one. Very belated thanks!

Comments

[trav28.livejournal.com]

you have my empathy on this one. Sounds utterly dreadful :(

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

On the bright side, I can feel my nose again!!

It is dreadful. Argh. But thank you.

[spacellama.livejournal.com]

Smooches to you.. just don't smooch back as crown might jiggle, and jiggling is never ever good. As someone who has also endured dentistrial woes, I commisserate with your woe. Like whoa. *hugs*

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I have FOUR WEEKS of this. FOUR WEEKS. But thank you for the V-Gist - I honestly didn't see it until today!

[ex-spockette108.livejournal.com]

Meeeeeeeep. That's quite scary and horrid, dude. :(

Wine and Wicked makes everything better, for true. Which one are you watching? I sent your DVDs in the post today, btw, so I guess they'll be there, hmm, Saturday? if Royal Mail stop being arses, anyway.

I sent: the 05.22.07 Broadway with Julia & Kendra,
the 02.09.07 Broadway with Julia & Kendra,
the 01.20.07 Broadway with Julia & Kendra,
the 05.23.06 Tour with Julia & Kendra,
the 03.14.06 Tour with Julia & Kendra,
the 11.08.06 London with Idina & Helen,
and the 7.18.04 Broadway with Idina & Kristin.

So, um, yes. That's probably enough to keep you busy for a while. And hopefully distract you from your teeth.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Er. I have no idea because I sort of got drunk on wine. By myself. Occasionally howling "THIS SMILE COST ME NEARLY THREE MONTHS OF FOOD." HOWEVER I am about to watch the one you linked me too originally; I am now very excited re: package and will have to send you something exciting in return!

Did I tell you recently that you're awesome?

[kittyc1978.livejournal.com]

I promise to give you a better dental response when I have a full sized keyboard at my disposal. Right now all I can muster on my pda is "bummer!"

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

'Bummer' sums it up, to be honest. It does make me feel better to have you on my flist for this sort of thing; the dentist I had only graduated last year and the dental technician was being trained. NOT HELPING WITH THE FEAR.

[emmysuze.livejournal.com]

Oh no! That's awful. I'm so sorry. Can you claim your dentistry back as you're a student and not earning any money? I'm with you on the whole dentist thing - I've not been in years and I'm in no hurry to go back. (Don't tell Kel!)

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I'm earning too much money; ten hours a week on £6.09 an hour during term-time means that they believe I can afford this shit. LIES.

[emmysuze.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think that will be the trick. Just lie. Don't tell them you work during term time. It's probably fraud, but it's ridiculous for them to expect that you'll pay over 3 weeks' wages on one tooth that shouldn't have broken in the first place. Or you could just sue the person who made the tooth for the money...

[hyrnetanga.livejournal.com]

Fuck me! But that is expensive!

*growls at incompetent dentists*

*shudders a little at the thought of said dentists*

There is a form you can get to claim the money back. It´s about as big and confusing as the income assessed loan form, hence why I never bothered to actually fill it out, but for £194 it's worth the effort.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

It is the highest amount of money one will ever have to pay on the NHS, which is apparently meant to make me feel better. You pay within three bands: the lowest is about £20, can't remember the middle one, and I've just landed slap bang in the top one.

Crowns are expensive. I am unsure why.

I don't get the money form of glee, though; rather stupidly, I earn too much money in my exciting jobs. *facepalm*

[hyrnetanga.livejournal.com]

That is sucky. Especially since the reason you have said jobs is because you need them to be able to y'know eat and stuff.

[jennnlee.livejournal.com]

Oh, ugh, I'm right behind you. Have made a dentist appointment for next week that I'm petrified of keeping. But I have to, as I have four separate toothaches and chewing is becoming an issue. No, I don't have dentist fear, why would you think that?

Hope you feel better.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I'm not really afraid of the dentist, but I just find the whole thing embarrassing. I don't like people poking around in my mouth!

It's not too bad. In fact, when I was numbed up and had my eyes shut, I nearly fell asleep because it was restful for a wee bit.

I am feeling better, though, thank you. I wil feel better when I get a permanent one in, though...

[tau_sigma]

Oh, no. Tooth woes are my most feared thing, and sooo expensive. I know I've said this before, but have you tried filling in an HC1 form for help with health costs? I think quite often you can get help with dental costs even if they think you have enough money to pay your own prescriptions and opticians things and stuff. And you can do it up to 3 months after you've paid it.

*hugs* Hopeit doesn't hurt for too long.

[tau_sigma]

And, err, now I see everyone else has already mentioned that. So ignore me. *hugs again*