(no subject)

[hathycol]

You know what really sucks? That I can't even get drunk properly - I really put some effort into it, and everything - and that facebook has gone weird and won't let me change my relationship status. Fuck, I'm lame. And I need to sort out my LJ profile stuff, and I am trying very very hard to be sensible and get on with Stuff That Needs To Be Done, and someone else is moving in today and I would really rather not have her think that I'm completely pathetic. Even though I am.

People are being really, really nice. Mum phoned me three times yesterday, probably to check I was alive, Dad phoned to inform me that he'd "tried put a wheelie bin through the window, but the dustmen had come so it had sort of just bounced because it was empty" which made me laugh in a sort of hopeless way, and I got texts from people and stuff. Which is wonderful and I feel very glad to have such friends but every time the pone goes I just hope and pray and it hasn't been yet.

I really, really want a hug but it's the sort of hug I'm not getting again. I don't know, I'm still hoping, but it's the sort of hope that might kill me. I am trying very very hard to be sensible. I am a sensible person. I am trying to think logically about this. I really am. It doesn't help that I've had about three hours of sleep, because Sarah phoned me first thing to inform me regarding people moving in today and then I couldn't get back to sleep again because I can't make my brain stop thinking and analysing.

Right. I'm going to go and clean the house and then I'm going to research my dissertation.

Comments

[sunlightdances.livejournal.com]

Still here, glad you're still there. *squish*

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

*squishes*

[jennnlee.livejournal.com]

I read your other entry last night right as Morgan was screaming at me to get the hell off the computer because dinner was ready, so I didn't get to comment then. But I've been thinking of you all night. Let me add my virtual hug to the ones you've been getting from everyone else. I'm so very sorry for what you're going through, and I hope that you feel better soon.

I know that now sucks very much. Just concentrate on breathing and making it through the next five minutes. Then the next five minutes after that. And lean on your friends, it sounds like you have quite a few. And if you ever want to holiday in Florida, we have a kick-ass guest room.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Honey, if I could get a flight to Florida right now I would take you up on it. I am getting through this five minutes. Thank you.

[jennnlee.livejournal.com]

Good girl. Keep breathing.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, my love. You astonish me with how strong you are. I can ring/text whenever you'd like, and in the meantime throw things out of the window.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Busy tonight, does tomorrow sound okay?

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

I'm in shock for you too.
Oh honey. Good luck sorting everything out. What a brutal shock.
I can't send you the right sort of hug but I'll send you a sad Internet one anyway.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

He's an ass, that's all I can say.
I was thinking, I'd quite like to come and visit St Andrews at some point and figure if you wanted to we could spend some time together. I spoke to Hannah and she liked the idea (& we thought we could try & drag Iona along too, but haven't actually mentioned it yet)

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

Yes indeedy, I've never been to scotland. :D

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Whilst any time soon would be bad, I'm here until August? I have tremendously comfy sofas, if it helps.

[tau_sigma]

I really, really want a hug but it's the sort of hug I'm not getting again. - oh god, I know what you mean. And I can't help, and I really wish I could, because you're so lovely, Colleen, you don't deserve something like this at all. You are wonderful and funny and bright and fun to be around, and just hang in there, yeah? *loves* You are, as Iona said, being astonishingly strong.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs*

[logmplus1.livejournal.com]

Still with the *hugs*, even if it is the wrong sort. There's not really anything any of us can say that'll make it feel better.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I know this is going to sound like a really odd request, but would you mind checking on Simon? I doubt he'll answer my phone, but I'd just like to hear he's alive. If that's okay?

[logmplus1.livejournal.com]

No problem, not an odd request at all. I'll see what I can do. I'll send a text, and if that doesn't get a response soon-ish, I'll try calling. I don't know how much success I'll get; he appears to have dropped of the face of the internet...

[logmplus1.livejournal.com]

Contacted, he's still alive. Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

That takes a weight off my mind. Thank you.

[sevenhelz.livejournal.com]

Honey, I don't know how I missed this and your last post, but I'm so sorry. I've got hugs and tea and chocolate and booze and anything else you want here. I love you, you are so awesome and so strong and I don't know what else I can tell you except that it's his damn loss.
xxxxx