(no subject)
Dec. 3rd, 2008 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolToday I hauled myself out of bed super-early for Christmas Ball tickets. Four hours in the cold later I had tickets, which is jolly good except for the fact I'm still cold now. No one passed out, although I did spend the entire four hours with one scarf around my head and my Jayne hat perched on top in a sort of jaunty angle.
Came home, ate lunch, prepared myself thoroughly, and sat down to deal with some online stuff for FastStream. I was good in the practice test at the verbal reasoning, and I was shite at the maths. I had maths lessons to make up for it and everything. So I went and sat down and did it, and I fell completely to pieces during the verbal reasoning and the maths I could actually do when I sat down and thought about it logically but in twenty-five minutes I only did about eight questions, and my rubbish verbal reasoning isn't going to make up for that. My results are 'pending' and I will know mid-December if I can, you know, submit an application form. OH LUCKY ME. I don't know why I'm bothering, I'm completely underqualified and bloody thick at anything useful anyway. I hope the maths for the less-good bits of civil service is less hard. Stupid ambitions. I've never even had a job in an office, for goodness sake, I'd probably never cope in the Home Office.
I have to write 1000 words for my essay today to keep me on track, but I also have DocSoc this evening and Muppet Christmas Carol afterwards and I just want to go back to bed and try not to contemplate that I am unprepared for the job market and also, you know, I am now both physically and mentally exhausted. Instead of doing either of these things I am wailing on LJ.
Fuck it, I am going back to bed. I probably should have power-napped before, you know, taking a test that determines my future. I was awake before I sat down to take it. At least my essay might be half decent?
[eta: computer crashed, won't turn back on, obviously I hadn't yet backed up either my essay or my dissertation. In library having breakdown trying very hard not to cry.]
Came home, ate lunch, prepared myself thoroughly, and sat down to deal with some online stuff for FastStream. I was good in the practice test at the verbal reasoning, and I was shite at the maths. I had maths lessons to make up for it and everything. So I went and sat down and did it, and I fell completely to pieces during the verbal reasoning and the maths I could actually do when I sat down and thought about it logically but in twenty-five minutes I only did about eight questions, and my rubbish verbal reasoning isn't going to make up for that. My results are 'pending' and I will know mid-December if I can, you know, submit an application form. OH LUCKY ME. I don't know why I'm bothering, I'm completely underqualified and bloody thick at anything useful anyway. I hope the maths for the less-good bits of civil service is less hard. Stupid ambitions. I've never even had a job in an office, for goodness sake, I'd probably never cope in the Home Office.
I have to write 1000 words for my essay today to keep me on track, but I also have DocSoc this evening and Muppet Christmas Carol afterwards and I just want to go back to bed and try not to contemplate that I am unprepared for the job market and also, you know, I am now both physically and mentally exhausted. Instead of doing either of these things I am wailing on LJ.
Fuck it, I am going back to bed. I probably should have power-napped before, you know, taking a test that determines my future. I was awake before I sat down to take it. At least my essay might be half decent?
[eta: computer crashed, won't turn back on, obviously I hadn't yet backed up either my essay or my dissertation. In library having breakdown trying very hard not to cry.]
no subject
Date: 2008-12-04 12:00 am (UTC)good luck with the essay, the dissertation etc. good luck with the civil service also. it turns out that's one of those things dave should've looked at before they stopped taking applications... d'oh.
ah well. xxx