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Sep. 16th, 2009 04:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolSo, I spent today at a funeral. Mum's step-dad, obviously. It has been a horrible, horrible day. Funeral itself was obviously sad - Dot cried a lot which was awful - but, um, oh dear. Please, please, when I die, do not let me have a by the number service, where we sing 'The Lord Is My Shepherd' and the vicar tries desperately to make a eulogy out of 'was a lorry driver, went on the sick, likes the telly and nowt else'. And please don't let me need a reinforced coffin and four extra pallbearers, either.
(For future reference: I want a Catholic ceremony, 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead' is to be played at some point and I don't care if the priest objects, and if I haven't done anything sufficiently fabulous with my life I would like lies to be made up about it. I would like to be remembered as a music virtuoso who spoke 14 languages. JUST SAYING.)
But, well, yes. That side of the family is difficult at the best of times, and Mum hasn't really spoken to them for two years. In fact, it's five or six years of indifference on my side - I tried for a bit, but then, well, what was the point? - and I spent lots of the day politely telling people that yes, I really was Julie's eldest, I really was 22, and then quietly rebutting people telling me it was time to have children. Mum spent most of it hiding in the front garden wih me as a shielf, Dad quietly sat in the corner and Megan got on famously with everyone.
We left at about midday. That said, we did leave the house at 7am to get there for 9am, so frankly I'm so tired I feel sick right now. That might also have something to do with the fact that I have spent all day inhaling cigarette smoke and not eating due to the Most Unappetising Buffet Ever. There is a stereotype of Rowley Regis, according to a friend who lives near there; as I sat watching morbidly obese (disclaimer: I do not judge on weight, some people are big and some people are small and BOTH ARE OKAY but this is in the morbidly obese-giving-yourself-diabetes camp and refusing to stop eating sugar) people smoke cheerfully in the kitchen whilst extolling the virtues of the gala pie they got as the delicatessen counter at Asda ("oooh, that's posh!" I QUOTE) and drinking lager at 11am, I can't help but think that in many aspects they're right.
Argh, this is all disjointed and weird. Sleep is definitely needed, I think. Basically, funerals are made of fail, more so when they're my family. I'm going to watch DS9, now. The Odo angst has actually made it difficult for me, as I just want to hug him and feed him stew and I can't bear more Klingon honour and familt angst/Ferengi humour episodes when all I want to see Odo happy.
(For future reference: I want a Catholic ceremony, 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead' is to be played at some point and I don't care if the priest objects, and if I haven't done anything sufficiently fabulous with my life I would like lies to be made up about it. I would like to be remembered as a music virtuoso who spoke 14 languages. JUST SAYING.)
But, well, yes. That side of the family is difficult at the best of times, and Mum hasn't really spoken to them for two years. In fact, it's five or six years of indifference on my side - I tried for a bit, but then, well, what was the point? - and I spent lots of the day politely telling people that yes, I really was Julie's eldest, I really was 22, and then quietly rebutting people telling me it was time to have children. Mum spent most of it hiding in the front garden wih me as a shielf, Dad quietly sat in the corner and Megan got on famously with everyone.
We left at about midday. That said, we did leave the house at 7am to get there for 9am, so frankly I'm so tired I feel sick right now. That might also have something to do with the fact that I have spent all day inhaling cigarette smoke and not eating due to the Most Unappetising Buffet Ever. There is a stereotype of Rowley Regis, according to a friend who lives near there; as I sat watching morbidly obese (disclaimer: I do not judge on weight, some people are big and some people are small and BOTH ARE OKAY but this is in the morbidly obese-giving-yourself-diabetes camp and refusing to stop eating sugar) people smoke cheerfully in the kitchen whilst extolling the virtues of the gala pie they got as the delicatessen counter at Asda ("oooh, that's posh!" I QUOTE) and drinking lager at 11am, I can't help but think that in many aspects they're right.
Argh, this is all disjointed and weird. Sleep is definitely needed, I think. Basically, funerals are made of fail, more so when they're my family. I'm going to watch DS9, now. The Odo angst has actually made it difficult for me, as I just want to hug him and feed him stew and I can't bear more Klingon honour and familt angst/Ferengi humour episodes when all I want to see Odo happy.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-16 04:59 pm (UTC)You forgot to specify "Unless I am being buried in a solid gold tuxedo just because. ;).
I want a Graham Chapman style funeral, if anything. I want people to be able to laugh enough to get the mourning out of the way. Tears don't really help you mourn, they just stifle things. I think when you're able to laugh about your loss it's a much, much better thing.
I mean, I'm not exactly going to be gutted if people cry, but I'd like to think they're crying in a comforting environment, not something oppressively miserable.
*<3s*
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Date: 2009-09-17 06:58 pm (UTC)Or lead, due to me being found to be made of Deadly Radioactive Superpowers!
... well, it's a thought. :-)
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Date: 2009-09-16 08:15 pm (UTC)And I would want the service done in Latin with the priest dressed up as a suitable historical figure from the Crusades.
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Date: 2009-09-17 07:45 am (UTC)WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER
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Date: 2009-09-16 09:54 pm (UTC)Also, oh, family. At least it is over? Also, you do realise you are just encouraging us to look forward to you funeral?! It sounds wonderful. It's a shame you have to die first.
Odo is always sad and angsty. :( He needs more love.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 07:48 am (UTC)I do not judge on weight, some people are big and some people are small and BOTH ARE OKAY but this is in the morbidly obese-giving-yourself-diabetes camp and refusing to stop eating sugar
a) I love you
b) YES. YES AND YES. See, my mum is a big girl. She's bigger than me. But she got there on good, healthy food. What drives me up the wall is this people who win "Dieter of the year :D :D :D" awards and you read the interviews and they're all "Yeah so, I'd have a Big Mac for breakfast and three mars bars for a snack and then a chinese takeaway for lunch and then BASICALLY I JUST CONSUMED LARD ALL DAY and I just don't know how I got so big and decided I needed to stop" and asjdfasdfalsdjfla AAAAAARGH. People like THAT are the reason I get looked at funny when I DO go to a restaurant and I would like to punch them in their irritating, pudgy faces. (And that's the other thing. My mum's weight? Isn't hanging all over the place in a pale and more than faintly unnatural manner. It clings to her bones because it got there GRADUALLY and is supported by muscle that also developed GRADUALLY to support the weight.)
So. Um. Excuse me XD.
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Date: 2009-09-17 07:05 pm (UTC)And do you know what she did? She went to a gym a bit, and went "oh, hey, you know, I could eat this without it being deep-fried." And she still enjoys her food, and she enjoys life, but she exercises and moderates her choices and she lost five stone.
It is one of the reasons se is loathed as an outsider by her family, next to having children in wedlock and still being married to the fathr, a job she tells the tax people about, and having the temerity to have a mortgage. Um.
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Date: 2009-09-17 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 07:09 pm (UTC)Basically I love Odo and I have never shipped anyone so hard as I do him and Kira. (Because, well, Dax/Kira is less a ship and more canonical fact, ditto Garak/Bashir...)