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Oct. 20th, 2015 08:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolRichie is out of the house tonight. I have eaten a meal that is approximately 47% cheesy garlic bread and am watching Guardians of the Galaxy because I damn well can. Today has also involved me really enthusiastically offering to 'pop' to the mothership's office in order to get the newest batch of ID cards. This involved me cheerily decided to walk there - and back - despite the fact it's a solid thirty minutes each way and is on the other side of the river.
Me and winter are, increasingly, not friends at this time of year. I love the run up to Christmas, with the parties and the lights and the socialising with friends. January and February suck but the spring can be occasionally scented in the air, and the light starts to come back. October and November have got worse each year, and I just feel... I dunno, glum. A bit broken. Everything that's wrong with me feels like it's highlighted, and I get snappy and defensive.
So this year I recognised it as it was happening, albeit combining with my busy time in work causing me to creak really badly with some of my day to day work. This involved me accidentally telling a candidate to turn up SIX HOURS before they were due to start. I felt awful, and then I fixed the problem, but oh. My boss was very understanding, particularly when I said that this was the first sign that I wasn't coping. The next day I booked some holiday for November and it was authorised straight away, with a note saying "have a good break!" Normally it takes at least a week to get my holiday okay-ed. I was due to go out that night as well with Richie to see a musical, so I asked if I could take back some of my missed lunch breaks to leave thirty minutes early. Cheerfully acquiesced by manager immediately. So they could also see that I was teetering WAAAY on the not coping edge.
Fortunately the person I was covering for has now returned from sick leave. Everything is better and still REALLY REALLY BUSY but at a level I can cope with. I haven't had to go and take five minutes in the afternoon to sit in the quiet room downstairs (that occasionally gets used for emergency naps/prayers/mini golf tournaments), with a cup of tea between my hands, rocking slightly and trying to concentrate on the quiet and just breathe. Which I did every day last week. (Ok, it's only Tuesday, but STILL.)
I am trying to be better at this. As I said, on Wednesday we went out and saw Showstoppers which is an entirely improvised musical based on audience suggestions. It was hilarious. Don't know if it was a fix, but entirely worth it. They worked in a suggestion of "a meerkat in a hat that predicts the future!" and that alone was worth the entrance. So I needed a night of laughter, which helped. And now I am working on looking after me, which yes, involves spending some time on my own, doing stuff like reading or walking or watching a fun film and updating Livejournal in my pajamas.
In other news, I don't like Back to the Future and my view on Star Wars is that it's fun but that's as far as my opinion goes, so fandom is a little quiet for me this week.
Me and winter are, increasingly, not friends at this time of year. I love the run up to Christmas, with the parties and the lights and the socialising with friends. January and February suck but the spring can be occasionally scented in the air, and the light starts to come back. October and November have got worse each year, and I just feel... I dunno, glum. A bit broken. Everything that's wrong with me feels like it's highlighted, and I get snappy and defensive.
So this year I recognised it as it was happening, albeit combining with my busy time in work causing me to creak really badly with some of my day to day work. This involved me accidentally telling a candidate to turn up SIX HOURS before they were due to start. I felt awful, and then I fixed the problem, but oh. My boss was very understanding, particularly when I said that this was the first sign that I wasn't coping. The next day I booked some holiday for November and it was authorised straight away, with a note saying "have a good break!" Normally it takes at least a week to get my holiday okay-ed. I was due to go out that night as well with Richie to see a musical, so I asked if I could take back some of my missed lunch breaks to leave thirty minutes early. Cheerfully acquiesced by manager immediately. So they could also see that I was teetering WAAAY on the not coping edge.
Fortunately the person I was covering for has now returned from sick leave. Everything is better and still REALLY REALLY BUSY but at a level I can cope with. I haven't had to go and take five minutes in the afternoon to sit in the quiet room downstairs (that occasionally gets used for emergency naps/prayers/mini golf tournaments), with a cup of tea between my hands, rocking slightly and trying to concentrate on the quiet and just breathe. Which I did every day last week. (Ok, it's only Tuesday, but STILL.)
I am trying to be better at this. As I said, on Wednesday we went out and saw Showstoppers which is an entirely improvised musical based on audience suggestions. It was hilarious. Don't know if it was a fix, but entirely worth it. They worked in a suggestion of "a meerkat in a hat that predicts the future!" and that alone was worth the entrance. So I needed a night of laughter, which helped. And now I am working on looking after me, which yes, involves spending some time on my own, doing stuff like reading or walking or watching a fun film and updating Livejournal in my pajamas.
In other news, I don't like Back to the Future and my view on Star Wars is that it's fun but that's as far as my opinion goes, so fandom is a little quiet for me this week.
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Date: 2015-10-21 12:18 pm (UTC)I'm totally with you on BttF and SW. The former passed me by; the latter I can take or leave. I will be going to see it when it comes out, if it's convenient to me and whoever I want to see it with...
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Date: 2015-10-24 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-21 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-26 04:10 pm (UTC)I have one at home too which is handy if my mood dips.
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Date: 2015-10-21 09:37 pm (UTC)The best sort of meal!
Looking after yourself sounds like a good plan. I hope things don't get too bad.
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Date: 2015-10-24 06:01 pm (UTC)I am finding aggressive self care works; I am very strictly telling myself "YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DO THIS" when I take five minutes out, and walking in the morning to get some sunshine. Fingers crossed.