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Jan. 21st, 2015 08:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolMy brain is currently going down some mighty odd pathways at the moment. On Monday I had a plan for lunch, and when Tesco didn't have that sandwich in I ended up wandering around for a solid thirty minutes, utterly baffled by the prospect of lunch in general. Today at work I flipped my shit at having to load the fucking dishwasher AGAIN and sent around an irate message to the whole company (well, I remembered to take out the India and USA offices but man MANCHESTER REALLY KNOWS ABOUT MY FUCKING DISHWASHER RATES) about people not doing basic cleaning. Actual phrases used included "I have frankly had enough!" and "There is no such thing as the Dishwasher Pixie to magic away your cups". I used that formatting and all.
I got a lot of emails thanking me sending it out, so that's a thing.
Anyway. I am still enjoying a head full of cotton wool and incessant fucking tinnitus whilst working full time and going to college and dealing with funeral arrangements so I am giving myself a lot of range for crazy brain.
Anyway. Yesterday I was, as you do, idly scrolling through Avengers fanfiction and wondering about how people manage to do such complicated AUs. Well, I reasoned to myself, it must be based on what they know. But I don't work in anything exciting, and the Avengers totally wouldn't work in terms of a HR department of a consultancy.
Well, my brain said suddenly. Thor would run the recruitment function. He's enthusiastic at making people join his leadership. And then suddenly it spiralled out of control and here goes my logic in the order it happened in my brain.
If Thor does recruitment because he's good at making people join a team; Steve runs employee engagement and relations because he really cares; Nick Fury is the executive HR director, obviously, with Hill being his deputy; Phil is Nick's PA, secretly running the place and absolutely okay with this; Clint and Natasha are generalist, sleek and deadly and able to move into any function when required. Bruce does occupational therapy. Darcy is the admin HR assistant, and she got the job because she used to work as Jane's intern - Jane is still a scientist - but needed a more appropriate job after uni. SO OBVIOUSLY THOR GOT HER A JOB. (It was at this point I realised I had moved from 'idle speculation' to 'hot shit this is coming into place'.)
So I still sort of don't know what company it would be or quite a few places and then I realised that OBVIOUSLY IT'S AN ENERGY UTILITIES COMPANY OBVIOUSLY. The department is nicknamed Shield but they all work for Warm Security Corporation (OR WSC DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE) which was founded by Howard Stark. Tony theoretically works in the R+D department but he comes down to HR because he has a gift for talent management, even if he can't manage himself. It's ironic that he is a CONSULTANT TO THE DEPARTMENT YOU SEE. Pepper is CFO. Happy runs security, obv. Sam is works in the legal department with an expertise in employment law and is parachuted in as a legal eagle DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE.
Loki works as a freelance recruitment consultant because HE IS EVIL YOU SEE. Hydra USED TO BE PART OF WSU BUT IS NOW A COMPETITOR AND DOESN'T USE AS MUCH CLEAN ENERGY and there are still corporate spies. Bucky went with them but now has repented and is working independently in citizens advice bureau to help out with employment tribunals and Steve has very complicated feelings about this OH GOD IT ALL COMES TOGETHER YOU SEE.
I don't have anything boring like a plot (well, except, maybe, dealing with Hydra trying to poach their staff...), or any particular reason why the Avengers are in a UK consultancy running a HR department, but my brain kept pinging up with ideas and adding to it completely unbidden. And, you know, I'll never write it because no one but no one cares about what would happen if the Avengers worked in a UK HR department. I don't know, though, I don't mind that my brain is going in these directions because maybe some mindless meandering is what I need right now.
I got a lot of emails thanking me sending it out, so that's a thing.
Anyway. I am still enjoying a head full of cotton wool and incessant fucking tinnitus whilst working full time and going to college and dealing with funeral arrangements so I am giving myself a lot of range for crazy brain.
Anyway. Yesterday I was, as you do, idly scrolling through Avengers fanfiction and wondering about how people manage to do such complicated AUs. Well, I reasoned to myself, it must be based on what they know. But I don't work in anything exciting, and the Avengers totally wouldn't work in terms of a HR department of a consultancy.
Well, my brain said suddenly. Thor would run the recruitment function. He's enthusiastic at making people join his leadership. And then suddenly it spiralled out of control and here goes my logic in the order it happened in my brain.
If Thor does recruitment because he's good at making people join a team; Steve runs employee engagement and relations because he really cares; Nick Fury is the executive HR director, obviously, with Hill being his deputy; Phil is Nick's PA, secretly running the place and absolutely okay with this; Clint and Natasha are generalist, sleek and deadly and able to move into any function when required. Bruce does occupational therapy. Darcy is the admin HR assistant, and she got the job because she used to work as Jane's intern - Jane is still a scientist - but needed a more appropriate job after uni. SO OBVIOUSLY THOR GOT HER A JOB. (It was at this point I realised I had moved from 'idle speculation' to 'hot shit this is coming into place'.)
So I still sort of don't know what company it would be or quite a few places and then I realised that OBVIOUSLY IT'S AN ENERGY UTILITIES COMPANY OBVIOUSLY. The department is nicknamed Shield but they all work for Warm Security Corporation (OR WSC DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE) which was founded by Howard Stark. Tony theoretically works in the R+D department but he comes down to HR because he has a gift for talent management, even if he can't manage himself. It's ironic that he is a CONSULTANT TO THE DEPARTMENT YOU SEE. Pepper is CFO. Happy runs security, obv. Sam is works in the legal department with an expertise in employment law and is parachuted in as a legal eagle DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE.
Loki works as a freelance recruitment consultant because HE IS EVIL YOU SEE. Hydra USED TO BE PART OF WSU BUT IS NOW A COMPETITOR AND DOESN'T USE AS MUCH CLEAN ENERGY and there are still corporate spies. Bucky went with them but now has repented and is working independently in citizens advice bureau to help out with employment tribunals and Steve has very complicated feelings about this OH GOD IT ALL COMES TOGETHER YOU SEE.
I don't have anything boring like a plot (well, except, maybe, dealing with Hydra trying to poach their staff...), or any particular reason why the Avengers are in a UK consultancy running a HR department, but my brain kept pinging up with ideas and adding to it completely unbidden. And, you know, I'll never write it because no one but no one cares about what would happen if the Avengers worked in a UK HR department. I don't know, though, I don't mind that my brain is going in these directions because maybe some mindless meandering is what I need right now.
