(no subject)

[hathycol]

Have just suddenly jit the worst place, self-esteem why. I don't even know why - it was probably just coming from college, realising my hair made me look like Little Orphan Annie and suddenly I was hit with the sudden realisation that this was me ALL THE TIME. I have now put it up in a weird little half and half thing and I am generally bewailing the world and trying to avoid mirrors again. Skin is looking Teh Good, weirdly enough. It is all spot free and unusually clear, but at the same time I am horribly aware of having nasty and gross blackheads and also my own inability to deal with them. Fuck it, I can't afford expensive beauty treatments to get stuck waxed and plucked and exfoliated, so I just meander along and tell myself that I'm qutie happy not wearing make-up, thank you very much and maybe I am but I just feel STUPID and awkward ibn my own skin and I haven't felt like that for a year or so now.

Also, I'm just not best pleased on general principles. Jess completely blew me off to go to Day's tonight, I forgot to go to the library so I have to go before long, I lost my bus pass, paid for a new one, found the frigging pass which leads to my lack of money issue again and now I am snapping at people for no good reason because dammit they are being stupid and I can't be fucking done with it.

Fuck fuck fuck shit arse wanker bollocks fuckity balls crap tits cunt.

God, I still don't feel better. That's not good.

I can't even explain this. It's like my mood just dropped like a stone for no fucking good reason other than just general irritation with self and that horrible and paranoid fear that I am NEVER going to make any friend sinh uni because they will see me and they will RUN IN FEAR.

This week is going to be a bad week. Fuck.

Comments

:-)

[minature-hero.livejournal.com]

i thought its just changed!!! so i just thought i drop you a line in correct english, to say cheer up :) dont u be crampming my 'emo' style now... xxx

[osiris13.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm not very good at making people feel better, but a hug is usually appreciated. I love you, and I know low self-esteem is horible, but you're wonderful the way you are.

[kittyc1978.livejournal.com]

There are inexpensive ways to deal with the black head thing. First of all, don't touch your face, and make sure you use clean implements when you apply makeup. Fresh sponges and clean your brushes with your facial cleanser, but not if it's noxema, that piles up the oil on the bristles.

With your regular cleanser, apply a thin layer to your face at room temp. Then wet a face cloth with warm water and lay it over your face for a few minutes, wipe off cleanser, and rinse out the cloth, re wet the cloth with warm water again and repeat. After two or three heat treatments, splash your face with cool water to close your pores and then apply your normal moisturizer.

If you have a few "Bucks" go to the drugstore or a shop that sells St. Ives products and invest in their clay mask and their apricot scrub. The scrub comes in three or four strengths, so if you have sensitive fair skin, they have one for you! Follow the directions and if you do have sens. skin, only put the clay mask on your T zone.

If you have a few more bucks go to The Body Shoppe. They have some awesome products!

The St. Ives products are worth every penny!

If you don't have a regular cleaning routine, I would say to get their stuff because it is well made, not animal tested, and inexpensive! /marketing.

We all have our "bad looks days" I think you are totally cute!

sssssssooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy

[jessiewessy.livejournal.com]

i didnt mean to go to days and miss our girly day in we had a girly chat tho on msn so that was ok. sorry again and you have to admit you enjoyed the talk. :-(

[sevenhelz.livejournal.com]

*pats collemo*

mood also might be a food thing? make sure you eat.
xxx

[playfullemming.livejournal.com]

What was it you said to me when I was feeling down? Ah yes, that's the one...


You. Me. Pub. NOW!

:) It'll be ok honey, absolutely everyone in the world gets low self esteem sometimes, and I guess its just a case of that lovely moment when you just dont give a fuck about it all, because people are a lot more than that and just be like "This is what I am and there isnt anything i can do about it. In fact, aren't I great because there's no one else like me?" Thats what I think of you honey, you are the most original person I have ever met and you are damn cute hence the fact that you have stunning wonderful girlfriend who thinks you are stunning wonderful :)

It'll pass - call me soon ok?

Love You Loads xxxxx (You do realise all this drivel from me is motivated by the cheering you up thing so please cheer up....or I will sound stupid :p )