(no subject)
Jan. 5th, 2010 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hathycolSo here is a Greek tragedy about snow. Translated to English, as I'm kind like that.
COLLEEN (upon looking out of the window): OH WOE, for it is snowing. Perhaps I should take a snow day, as I drive only a small and slightly useless car?
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: Noooooo! You CAN'T DO THAT! For you sell the de-icing crap, and it would be UNFAIR for you to leave people IN THE LURCH! So get thee out of the house!
COLLEEN: You know, I resent my Catholic education. I shall take some boots in the car, and ditch the car if I am unable to get in.
Some time later.
COLLEEN: Hmmm. The traffic does not appear to be moving.
MAN IN BMW: Watch, as I try and move slightly up the hill and instead veer around in a terrifying way!
COLLEEN: Well, I've had a good innings.
MAN IN BMW: I am going to reverse towards you as this will somehow make things better!
COLLEEN: OH WHY CAN I NOT REMEMBER THE WORDS TO THE HAIL MARY.
Some time later, same hill.
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: Oh, hell, maybe you shouldn't have bothered. Still, half way there now! Isn't it odd, how the councils haven't gritted any main roads whatsoever?
Further on.
COLLEEN: What a relief, I have made it into work! Once more into the breach, as I attempt to assure people their rock salt will turn up.
ROCK SALT QUARRY: O HAI. We have no salt for you. The government is legally forcing us to give all of our stock to the councils and the highways agency.
COLLEEN'S WORKPLACE: ... so they get all the salt? And the road is still not gritted? And we're down on staff as they are stuck on the other side of the ungritted motorways? AND WE STILL GET NO SALT?
An interim period, in which I assume the local council is dancing on their supplies of salt, or something. Actually, that's unfair and I know the weather is beyond belief so it's not their fault either. Still, keeps the lorries stuck.
CUSTOMERS: SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT WERE IS OUR SALT YOU PROMISED US! WE WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR REASONABLE EXPLANATIONS RE: BEING UNDER A FOOT OF SNOW AND HAVING NO MORE SALT TO PROVIDE!
COLLEEN: ...
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: Eh, fuck it. I won't look if you want to inflict harm on them.
COLLEEN: Office Manager, I am going home early to get the last part of the light. Sorry, but that's how it's going to be.
ROADS: We are still not gritted but we have frozen further, hurrah!
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: You know, Colleen, the best way around this is to be at work an hour early tomorrow! It'll make up for how early you left today!
COLLEEN: I think I am going to have to tell LiveJournal about this to try and remove the constant sick feeling I have about work, combined with the fear of actually getting in and then having to grovel to people all the day for stuff that is utterly, utterly out of my control.
---
All of the above is true. In fact, parts of it are lifted verbatim. I have no idea what to say, really, other than that basically you probably work for a company we supply and fuck it, we have nothing to give you and it's not our fault.
Stay at home. Have a snow day. I wish I could. I do apologise for the fact this country has no workable infrastructure. I'm going to go and have a glass of wine, and then I'm going to go to bed.
COLLEEN (upon looking out of the window): OH WOE, for it is snowing. Perhaps I should take a snow day, as I drive only a small and slightly useless car?
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: Noooooo! You CAN'T DO THAT! For you sell the de-icing crap, and it would be UNFAIR for you to leave people IN THE LURCH! So get thee out of the house!
COLLEEN: You know, I resent my Catholic education. I shall take some boots in the car, and ditch the car if I am unable to get in.
Some time later.
COLLEEN: Hmmm. The traffic does not appear to be moving.
MAN IN BMW: Watch, as I try and move slightly up the hill and instead veer around in a terrifying way!
COLLEEN: Well, I've had a good innings.
MAN IN BMW: I am going to reverse towards you as this will somehow make things better!
COLLEEN: OH WHY CAN I NOT REMEMBER THE WORDS TO THE HAIL MARY.
Some time later, same hill.
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: Oh, hell, maybe you shouldn't have bothered. Still, half way there now! Isn't it odd, how the councils haven't gritted any main roads whatsoever?
Further on.
COLLEEN: What a relief, I have made it into work! Once more into the breach, as I attempt to assure people their rock salt will turn up.
ROCK SALT QUARRY: O HAI. We have no salt for you. The government is legally forcing us to give all of our stock to the councils and the highways agency.
COLLEEN'S WORKPLACE: ... so they get all the salt? And the road is still not gritted? And we're down on staff as they are stuck on the other side of the ungritted motorways? AND WE STILL GET NO SALT?
An interim period, in which I assume the local council is dancing on their supplies of salt, or something. Actually, that's unfair and I know the weather is beyond belief so it's not their fault either. Still, keeps the lorries stuck.
CUSTOMERS: SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT WERE IS OUR SALT YOU PROMISED US! WE WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR REASONABLE EXPLANATIONS RE: BEING UNDER A FOOT OF SNOW AND HAVING NO MORE SALT TO PROVIDE!
COLLEEN: ...
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: Eh, fuck it. I won't look if you want to inflict harm on them.
COLLEEN: Office Manager, I am going home early to get the last part of the light. Sorry, but that's how it's going to be.
ROADS: We are still not gritted but we have frozen further, hurrah!
COLLEEN'S CONSCIENCE: You know, Colleen, the best way around this is to be at work an hour early tomorrow! It'll make up for how early you left today!
COLLEEN: I think I am going to have to tell LiveJournal about this to try and remove the constant sick feeling I have about work, combined with the fear of actually getting in and then having to grovel to people all the day for stuff that is utterly, utterly out of my control.
---
All of the above is true. In fact, parts of it are lifted verbatim. I have no idea what to say, really, other than that basically you probably work for a company we supply and fuck it, we have nothing to give you and it's not our fault.
Stay at home. Have a snow day. I wish I could. I do apologise for the fact this country has no workable infrastructure. I'm going to go and have a glass of wine, and then I'm going to go to bed.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 07:52 pm (UTC)Tomorrow I have no work, but I have to see the dentist and then stay at home to receive the plumber. I confidently predict that both my dentist and my plumber will take a snow day. I don't care; I'm quite happy to reschedule them both for next week.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 07:59 pm (UTC)That is the most sensible thing I have heard in a day of outright crazy.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 08:04 pm (UTC)I don't have that excuse as for some reason the trains are all running perfectly (but I'm not in till Thursday anyway).
I was supposed to pick Neil up tonight but Mum says I can't go out as my car has crap tires & even Neil said he didn't want me to as cars are skidding round the roundabout outside the restaurant.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 07:24 pm (UTC)Basically, my job involves dealing with snow, so I somehow think I should struggle into work to, well, deal with it. Catch-22, I think...
no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 07:27 pm (UTC)The only thing I'm concerned with is getting to Stoke next Thursday for my assessment. I don't know what the M6 is like, nor do I know if it'll be better or just as bad by then.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-05 08:13 pm (UTC)I have to drive to MANCHESTER tomorrow. Which, you know, is a fair way from me. And it's snowy. I know that it would be most sensible not to go, but I really need to see the department! I'm doing badly enough at choosing places to apply to, without missing two out of six open days.
I love the image of council workers dancing on their piles of salt. It's what I'd do, if I were an evil, salt-stealing council worker. *g*
no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 07:37 pm (UTC)I am still going to try very hard to get to Leeds on Friday, unless there is an actual apocalypse. Not sure if I'll drive or get the train, especially based on what you said above about Network Rail running out of rock salt... :s
no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-06 07:41 pm (UTC)And yes, I made it to work today and most lorries made it across various motorways, so that might work in your favour!
Because I'm scary like this...
Date: 2010-01-05 10:45 pm (UTC)Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death
Amen.
At least, that is what I remember of it.
Re: Because I'm scary like this...
Date: 2010-01-06 07:26 pm (UTC)Re: Because I'm scary like this...
Date: 2010-01-06 07:47 pm (UTC)